a lil less hopeless


A Lil' Less Hopeless

Book Three

The Kingsmen MC



This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.


First edition. December 3, 2014


Copyright c. 2014 Tara Oakes


Written by Tara Oakes


Published by Smashwords


Book Cover: Image by Tatiana Vila, www.viladesign.net




This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.




It’s thank you time again! Yay! I have such a hard time writing out my acknowledgments. In some ways, it’s harder than writing the book. Simple words are sometimes not enough to express the thanks and gratitude I have to all of you that have helped turn simple ideas, into the book you are about to read.

To my editor, Laura Classi, thanks once again for all the red pen love. Whether it’s dealing with last minute deadlines, sharing puppy advice or sending dozens of photo messages of edited pages back and forth... you came through like a champ. Now if only I can keep my past and present tense in check, we’d be golden and we’d save a hell of a lot of red ink.

To Desire’, my personal assistant, thank you so much for keeping me on my toes and putting up with all my forgetfulness and late night bimbo-ness. And thank god she can decipher my crazy, error filled speed typing.

Thanks to both Claire and Alicia, my international chicas for all of their support and tech savviness. To all of the girls in my street team, the trollops.... thanks so much for being such an active and wonderful group to come to. I don’t get to stop by as much as I used to, but it always brightens my day when I do.

Thanks to CBB for all of your help and support. You are the teaser queen! We bow down to you.

To all of the blogs that support everything from my cover reveals, takeover events, book releases and everything in between... thanks so much, guys. Indies and blogs go hand in hand. We both love books, whether we are writing them or supporting them, it’s a beautifully interdependent relationship.

Thanks to Tatiana for another great cover.

Thanks to all of the readers for your unending support. I love the feedback, and hope I’ve given you all the conclusion to Jay and Lil’s tale, that you’ve been wanting.

And finally.... to my Lambchop. Happily ever after doesn’t just happen in romance novels. It happens in real life, too. There are chapters, and cliff hangers... high points, and lows. Our story is still being written, but it’s more epic than any I could even attempt to put into words.




The life of a biker, although foreign to most of us, is a very intriguing subculture with its own laws, rules, language, and traditions. Hopefully this reference will help the rest of us get to know a bit more about them before we take a peek into the lives of Lil's and Jay, two people born and raised in the secret world of the M.C., full of passion, loyalty, fierce family bonds and... danger.




1%er -

The small population of biker clubs that consider themselves outside the law. They often run operations in gambling, guns, prostitution, smuggling, paid protection, drugs, and more. They are considered to be the baddest of the bad, and the roughest of the rough.


Brother -

Club members within the same club refer to each other as “Brother.” They have made a vow to protect and take care of each other as family.



An automobile, usually a van.


Church –

A club meeting to be attended by patched brothers only. Most clubs run as a democracy and important matters are voted on during meetings.


Club Mama –

Women who regularly attend events and interact with the M.C. They may aspire to become an Ol' Lady one day but do not yet have a patch holder. They may spend time with many different bikers within a club but have loyalty to the club first before a man. They are considered to be a little bit more respected than a “Sweet Butt”.


Cut -

Refers to the the leather vest worn by most bikers in a club.



Acronym for Motorcycle Club.


Ol' Lady –

A term of affection used for the main woman, or wife of a club member. She is given his protection and is considered off limits to any other biker. Women are not considered club members, but rather have associations to the club through their ol' man, or their patch holder.


Nomad –

A member of an MC that is currently without a specific charter. They are still considered a brother but they choose not to offer specific allegiance to a designated charter; instead they are loyal to the club organization on the whole.


Patched in –

When a prospect completes his initiation period and is voted in to become a full-fledged club member, or “Brother.”


Patches –

The cloth patches or embroidered designs added to bikers’ vests, or cuts, that identify which club they belong to, the location of their specific charter, and their position in it. Other patches can be added to signify milestone events. Example: If the member has ever served prison time for his club, or killed for it.


Piece –

A gun.


Pig -

A law enforcement officer.


Prospect –

Those who desire to become full-fledged patched members must complete an initiation period as a prospect before a final vote is taken as to whether or not they can fully join. Prospects usually are given the worst assignments and must prove their loyalty and worth to the club.


Rag –

Another term for a leather vest, or cut, but worn by a woman, given to her by her ol' man to signify that she is his “property” and is off limits. An ol' lady's rag does not usually bear the club name, logo or charter as she is not a club member. It simply states “Property of_____”.


Sweet Butt –

A term used to describe a woman who is “used” by members in a club. They are usually welcome at club parties, or “Brother only” parties, but they are never allowed at family events. It is a derogatory term and there is very little respect for these ladies by club members.


Tat –

A tattoo. Full-fledged club members, or brothers, often have the club patches permanently tattooed on their bodies to signify they are members even if they’re not wearing their cuts. An ol' lady will usually have a tattoo to honor her ol' man to signify that she is his property even if she is not wearing her rag.


[email protected]




I'm no girlie girl. I was never one to play dress up as a little kid, play house, or fantasize about marrying some handsome prince one day. I swore off pink at a pretty early age and was less concerned with carbs and calories than I was about my tomboy-induced scraped knees as a teen. I've been accused on more than one occasion of having the mouth of a truck driver...well, more like the mouth of a biker. Kind of came with the territory, I guess. It gives some credence to the whole “nature vs. nurture” argument.

So... sitting and playing with my ring finger in the stream of sunlight casting through the window, and watching how it sparkles and reflects off of the stone, was just not something I should be doing... you know... with the whole “not being a girly girl” thing. So why was I?


My attention breaks from the shameless display of overt femininity.


Jessica, my college friend, is sitting behind the wheel, looking for some interaction with her passenger. I can't blame her really, it's been a long car ride so far, capping off an even longer day. She was just looking for something to break the silence. It's not her fault I'm not in the mood for conversation.

I break my mini trance and raise my slightly heavier left hand to knead at my neck, tending to the stiffness setting in from the two-hour-long car drive.

Jess looks over, glancing back and forth between the twenty or so motorcycles riding in uniformed precision ahead of us, and then at me.

“You ok, Jules? You need me to pull over or something?”

No one ever tells you that the moment you disclose the fact that you are pregnant to someone... they start to treat you like a wounded kitten.

“Jess. I'm
. I was fine the last two times you asked, I'm fine now, and I can guarantee you I'll be fine the next time you ask.” I look to her, exasperated. “Don't make me regret telling you.”

Jess’ eyes roll back toward the windshield. “Alright.
. It's just been a really hard day. It can take a toll on anyone, especially one who's....”

“Pregnant?” I offer.

Jess takes in the description of my situation and ponders it thoughtfully for a moment, the crease lines on her forehead giving her away. “I was going to say knocked up, but sure.”

We break out in a fit of laughter.

It feels good to laugh. The pleasant involuntary spasming of my stomach muscles releasing some of the tension that's been storing up for the last two weeks. I can always count on Jess to bring a certain level of humor to things. We were very different, but she seemed to offer a little bit of ying to my yang. Where I took things too seriously at times, Jess was there to offer just a little bit of silliness to ground me.

“In all honesty though... are you OK, Jules?”

I sigh deep, slowly exhaling my answer to her. “I'll be fine. I'm just not ready to talk about it.”

She releases one hand from the steering wheel and covers mine with it, squeezing reassuringly. “OK. But, I'm here when you're ready.”

I smile at her, thanking her silently for her understanding.

It was true... I wasn't ready to talk to her about it yet. I had talked endlessly about the whole thing to Jay, Vince, Pop, and even the cops. I wasn't ready to throw another person in the mix. Especially another person I’d have to lie to.


The hardest thing about talking to someone about what happened is remembering which version to tell them. Jay and the guys in the club, my dad included... we all know the truth. Everyone else, though, they are fed what they think is the “official” story:

My friend Em came to Chisolm to visit me. We switched cars for the afternoon so that I could bring hers into the MC's repair shop to look at her “check engine light”. While she was out and about driving my car around town, she was carjacked, taken to an abandoned factory and killed. Rumors had gotten back to my mother, who called the police and gave a tip that I was also taken in the carjacking and was being held against my will at Hyde Park. The police found nothing there, but they were able to track me down at the clubhouse the next day where I was mourning my friend.

The truth, though? That was a lot uglier and a hell of a lot more painful to tell. Em had actually come into town to surprise T.J. She had gotten lost on some of the back roads and managed to find herself in Slayers territory. Seeing a bunch of bikers hanging around, she assumed they would know where to find T.J. She couldn't have been more wrong. They kidnapped her, dumped her car in a parking lot where Jay, my then boyfriend (or ‘ol man) and now fiancee, was able to find it a few days later, took her to the old run down plastic factory and called me to make a trade. When I got there, Shade crossed me and his own MC, the Slayers, by having one of his assholes shoot Emily in front of me. I was taken to an old farmhouse and kept, while Shade worked out some sort of deal with Jay and the club that I am certain he had no intention of carrying out.

Jay and some of the boy's ran an undercover attempt to rescue me, but it got all fucked up when someone jumped the gun and killed Shade, setting off a massive gun fight.

So far, the two crimes... Emily and Shades murder are unrelated in the news, and as far as we could tell, in the eyes of the cops. But, they've been popping up asking more and more questions lately. Jay wasted no time in getting me lawyered up, so that's been buffering some of the harassment, but Detective Flattery is like a fly on shit. He doesn't seem to stay away for long.

Not only was I never going tell Jess the truth about what happened to Emily, how it was her unlucky association with me that was the main factor in her murder, but, I wasn't too keen on spewing the cover story to her either. I'd never lied to Jess... I didn't want to start now. Better to just hold off and avoid telling her anything as long as I could.

Letting her in on the pregnancy secret offered a great way to shift her attentions. Not only that, but it gave me another person to be able to confide in about it. I don't want too many people knowing yet, with it being so early on and everything. Besides Jay, his mom Jean, her ol’ man and Jay’s dad Vince, Charlie and now Jess.. no one else knows yet.

I won't be able to keep it a secret long, though. My man was in his rightful place, riding his bike in the front of the club with his dad, his president. Here I am, his woman, his ol' lady.... his fiancee, riding in a car following behind them instead of straddling him, and holding on where I should be.

Jay set down the law a little while back, in keeping with the club's rules. I can't ride with him until after the baby is born, not that I'd want to and take the risk, but there is something about someone else telling you, you
do something. It just kinda pisses you off, even if you know it's for your own good.

No one would be asking any questions today, though. No red flags being raised about why I was riding in a cage with Jess instead of with Jay. We were on our way back from Emily's funeral service. The club had come to pay their respect to the young woman who had lost her life when she got tangled up in theirs. I had lost one of my best friends. Truthfully, even though I wouldn't be expected to leave Jess alone for her drive, I just don't even feel like riding right now.


There isn't much left of the drive home, rolling into town just as the sun was setting. The long line of bikers driving in the direction of the clubhouse, the loud roaring of their collective engines offering an intense but all-to-familiar rumble to these small-town streets. Once word had gotten out that there had been a carjacking and murder, the town started to get a bit spooked. The Kingsmen had always offered a sense of protection and renegade justice around here. The boys have since stepped up daily patrols of the neighborhoods, increasing their presence to try to quell the fears. Hopefully it was helping. One of the reasons the club has been so successful through the years is that they had the support of the town. I've heard enough chatter around the clubhouse that they were doubling their efforts to make sure to retain that support.

The group of bikes veers over to the side of Main Street, with several of them breaking rank and backtracking toward us. I twitch my pointer finger visibly for Jessica to follow suit and pull over behind them.

The roar of a Harley is very specific, each one having it’s own... kind of like a fingerprint. You spend enough time around them, you can pick up on the subtleties. My pulse begins to quicken as I hear Jay's bike close in on us.

I exit the car and meet him just as he stops, pulling off his helmet and beginning his dismount.

“Problem, officer?” I tease.

His eyes roam over me, standing in front of him, and settle on my chest. My ever-growing chest, that is. I swear, my boobs have grown a damn cup size in the last few weeks. No one could claim I was ever small chested, but damn, I was practically busting out of my tops now.

Jay licks his lips ever so noticeably as he reaches me, closing the distance between. He wraps one arm around me and pulls me in, using his other to trace his fingertip over the entrance to my ever present cleavage, the shadowed line above my heart.

“Yeah... I think this qualifies as indecent exposure.” He smirks.

My eyes widen, and instinctively shoot down to assess the severity of my situation. Ah... it wasn't too bad. Strictly PG 13, all good. He was toying with me. Jerk.

That's OK. I can play dirty, too.

“Hmm... well.” I look up into his eyes, soaking them in. I exhale slowly, dramatically. “I'll just have to start covering them up now, won't I?” I smile wickedly to him.

Some men are ass men, some legs... but Jay? He was all about the boobs. He was happier than a kid in a damn candy store just to get lost in my tits. They're like crack to him. If he could snort them, he would.

He grumbles deep while grabbing my ass, intensely enough to make me perk up.

“Not a chance in hell. Those babies are mine now. You keep 'em where I can see 'em.”

He pushes his lips onto mine before his last word is barely out, not giving me anytime to think of a retort before I am lost in him. Jay isn't necessarily one for exhibitionism, but we are about to come damn close. We haven't been able to spend as much time with each other these last few days with everything that's been going on. His need is strong. I can feel it, sense it in the urgency behind his kiss, the demanding strength his tongue is exerting on mine, compelling it to consent.

I don't need any persuasion. My fists grab at the leather of his cut on either side and pull him in closer, deeper. It is instinctive by now, responding to each other the way our bodies once had a long time ago. Some things you never forget, it’s just him and me when we get into a frenzy like this.

The cat calls and high-pitched whistling around us break through our little moment. The slight tapping of Jess's horn seals the deal and saves us from tearing each other's clothes off right here on Main Street.

“Save something for the wedding night, Jay!” one of the brothers shouts out.

Jay snickers and holds his middle finger out behind him, never moving his gaze from mine.

“You and Jess head home, I'll pick up some food on my way back from the clubhouse later.”

I huff. I was hoping he would spend the rest of the day at home, tonight. I swallow hard and roll my eyes harder. My disappointment purposely evident. “Whatever...”

He snatches my chin in his thumb and forefinger and guides me back to look at him, firmly. “
pout, baby,” he commands. “It makes me want to smack your ass.”

My eyebrow arches up. The thought of his hand on my ass right now is tempting. “So what's stopping you, big boy?”

He laughs. “Something tells me you'd get off on it more than I would right now, Lil's.” He sweeps his lips across mine once more, restraining them from a full-on-assault. “Don't worry, baby... I'm gonna give it to you so fucking good, tonight,” he whispers.


I let go of his leather and peel myself off him, turn and walk back to the open car door. “Bring home lasagna from Little Gino's if you even want me to consider it,” I shout back.

The sound of his bike is the silent command, giving instruction to the hoard of others to restart their engines as well.

“Let's go back to the house. Jay will bring dinner home later,” I fill Jess in.

We slip back out into traffic with two of the bikes following us as we head east, while the rest of the group continues on toward the clubhouse.

Loud breathing turns my attention to Jess. We lock eyes and I raise my eyebrows in query.

“I need a bad boy,” she proclaims.

Our laughter resumes.

“Not sure I can help you with that right now. But, I can provide the next best thing,” I boast.

She eyes me quizzically.

“Junk food and chick flicks,” I clarify.


Jess and I change into some comfy clothes and set ourselves up in the den with everything a girl could need. Margaritas (extra strong for her, virgin for me), tortilla chips with salsa, and an endless supply of blu-rays. Thankfully, we agree an a comedy. This day has been depressing enough, we both need to lift our spirits.

seems fitting, considering I had asked Jess to be one of mine... so I pop the movie in and we kick back. The surround sound starts to play, the lights dim as we prepare for a veg. fest.

Jess had arrived early yesterday. I didn't protest at all when she volunteered to come stay with me after what went down. With Christine, my long standing “frenemy” busy with her own wedding plans and Sunny, my brother’s ol’ lady, overwhelmed with her beauty salon, I didn't want to burden anyone. But, I really need a friend about now... and, although Jess and I were not as close as Emily and I were, we both needed a shoulder to lean on.

She also wanted to meet Jay in person. Once I told her that I wasn’t coming back to school next year, and was instead was transferring home to finish up my senior year, not to mention getting married and having a baby, I could understand why she wanted to check him out, vet him herself. It was a lot of change in a short period of time. She and Bobby, our mutual friend (or “gusband” as we like to call him) would be alone to finish their last year of school together.

When she suggested that she come and hang out for a week or so, I jumped at the chance. So far, it’s been going really great. She loves Jay, and seems to be genuinely happy for me. The only downside so far, is that she seems to be the hot new item on the menu, according to the brothers.

I am used to having the guys stopping over, dropping things off for Jay or just simply popping in on their way through this part of town, but ever since Jess had gotten here, it's been a nut house. I made Jay promise me that he would shut that shit down, get his boys under control.

Jess is a real good girl. She has big heart, a giant trust fund, and a five year plan. As far as I know, bikers don't play a part in it. I want to make sure that she doesn't get sucked into the curb appeal. It's not a life that I think Jess would be able handle, let alone be happy with. After what happened to Em, I'm not too eager to have any more of my friends turn groupie.

It isn't only their best interest I was looking out for, either. T.J.has been real messed up ever since Em died. He's been taking off on his own, just going on long rides. I've tried to get him to talk about it, but Jay says it's just better to let him be alone for a while. With his being one of Jay's men, I thought it was wise to just back off.

I top off Jess's margarita and dimmed the lights on my way back from the kitchen, enjoying a normal night for once. No cops, no strategizing with the club or lawyers. Just two girlfriends hanging out, watching a movie and having a few laughs.




“I don't know about this, Christine...”

She was fidgeting with her hair trying to get it to submit to the will of her twirling fingers.

“Lil's, it's not a big deal. It's just Evan and some friends. You don't even have to talk to them if you don't want to. We're just gonna watch a movie and have a few beers.”

Bullshit! This is a set up and she damn well knows it. She has only been dating Evan for a few weeks. I know they've already had sex and Christine was up his ass all the goddamn time now. Not literally... eww. I shake my head at the gross random thought.

“Nope. You
they were coming over and you didn't tell me because you knew I wouldn't come then.”

Christine had a pretty steady pattern of omitting information if it suited her needs. I was still pissed at the shit she pulled a while back at her birthday party. I hadn't planned on ending the evening locked in the bathroom of a frat house, only to have my boyfriend have to come and save my drunken ass.

“Lil's... please?” she whined. “All of Evan's friends are single, and they are giving him so much shit about spending time with me. I figure if we do the group thing, they'll back off a little. Sarah and Kim aren't giving me a hard time about this.”

I wanted to punch her then. “Yeah? There's a big difference between them and me, Christine.
not single. After your birthday, I really have no fucking wiggle room with this. I swore to Jay I wouldn't put myself in stupid situations. You really think these guys came over here to just watch a movie? Give me a break.”

Christine was losing patience, not to mention valuable time with Evan. “Fine. Go. Your loss, Lil's. I'll make sure I don't invite you the next time we all hang out.”

We had been friends since Miss Tammy's preschool. But, sometimes... I really just wanted to choke the bitch. I grabbed my stuff and hightailed it out of there. It was still kind of early, barely eleven o'clock. I'd bet Jay was still at the clubhouse, so I made the decision to head over there and surprise him. He was pissed earlier when I told him I was going to hang out with Christine. He's was still really mad at her, and wasn't too shy to tell me exactly what he thought of her. Me, being the loyal friend I am, chose to stick up for her ass. But after the situation she put me in again tonight, I'd have to rethink our friendship. It always seemed to put me in a bad spot.

The parking lot was full of bikes as usual, for a Saturday night. I was pretty sure there were no runs going on, so all of the boys are home. The heavy rock music was pouring out of the windows, pretty sure it was Guns ‘N Roses, and I could already tell it was gonna be wild inside.

The prospect guarding the door tensed up as I approached. Shit. I forgot his name. “Hey...
.” I greet him.

“Um... Lil's, hey. You, ah... you supposed to be here tonight? I mean, Jay know your coming?”

Actually, no, on both counts. But, he didn't need to know that.

“Sure... I told him I'd swing by.” I lied. Sue me.

He looked unsure. “I... I'll just go tell Jay you’re here. I'll be right back...”

What the fuck? Uh... no. “Get out of my way,” I order.

His eyes grow large. “You... you can't go in there.”

“Oh really? And why the fuck not?”

He seemed to be struggling with whether or not to tell me.

I whipped out my cell phone, “Fine.. I'll just call him and tell him I'm standing out here like an idiot because some prospect won't let me in.”

“It's a stripper party,” He blurted out.

I stop dialing. Fuck! Here I am, practically ruining a friendship, a fucked up friendship at that, but a friendship nonetheless to stay loyal to Jay and he was in there with a bunch of strippers? Hell to the no. I threw my phone back into my bag and stormed off toward my car.

“Lil's... do you need him? I can go get him...” the nervous prospect called after me.

I barely contain my rage. “Don't do me any favors! You can go tell him to fuck himself. That's what you can do for me.”

I opened my car door and threw my bag in, hard enough for the contents to spill out onto the passenger seat. Great. Now I can't find my fucking keys. My beat up old Honda has more things that don't work than do. The overhead light stopped working months ago, so I fumble around in the dark patting the carpeted floor for the metal objects. After a few minutes of cursing, I struck gold and grabbed the tips of the set, pulling the keychain out from under the seat.

When I sat up and lined the keys up with the ignition, I saw Jay and the prospect walking out of the clubhouse. The kid pointed to my car, and Jay patted him on the back, nodding, and taking a step in my direction.

I raced with my keys, fumbling with them until I got a match and started the engine with a loud rev. This baby may only be four cylinders but she's got some pep and I needed her to get me the hell out of there, right now.

Jay whistled loudly to get my attention from across the parking lot as he mades his way toward me. I shifted the car into gear and headed toward the gate.

“LIL'S!” I heard as I raced past him.

Thank God I have better sense than to act on my rage, because I really wanted to run him over back there. I sped through town, thankful not to have hit any red lights along the way. I wasn’t sure I could stop then anyway, the anger burning me up.

I did't get far before I heard the bike. He was closing in on me. I glanced into the rearview mirror and saw the round headlight of his Harley growing in size. I pressed down on the gas pleading with the Honda to move out of its own way. I had given this man everything. I gave him my virginity barely two months ago and this is how he repays me? By fucking around? I had been around long enough to know that if the prospect was keeping me from seeing Jay, then there was a damned good reason why. Not just a stripper party.

Jay gained on me and pulled up beside the driver’s window. The road was narrow, so he had no choice but to cut into the oncoming lane.

I rolled down my window. “Leave me alone, you bastard!”

He flailed his arm wildly, “Pull the fuck over! NOW!”

I did't listen. He won't be telling me what to do, anymore. We've left town and were heading into the country. The streetlights became more and more sporadic and scarce as the area became more desolate.

“I said... pull the goddamned car over now, Lil's. I swear!”

I saw the headlights approaching from the distance, racing toward us. It was pretty abandoned out here this time of night. The only traffic usually from the occasional truck passing through on their way to the interstate. Jay sped up and merged into my lane far ahead of me. As the semi truck passed us, Jay slammed on his brakes, forcing me to react and pull off the road into the field of the old sod farm. I rolled to a stop and breathed deeply, collecting myself. The adrenaline was surging, causing my heartbeat to pound in my head.

Jay pulled up beside me, jumping off his bike before the engine had a chance to completely shut down and threw open my door.

“Get the fuck out, now!”

Yeah. I don't think so. He reached across me and grabbed the keys from the ignition before taking a few steps toward the darkness, hurling them into the night.

I stormed out of the car, after him. “You did
just do that!”

He swung his body around and stomped my way, stopping mere millimeters in front of me. “Yeah! I fucking did! You're gonna kill yourself, or someone else, driving like that! What the FUCK has gotten into you?!”

“Oh, please! Don't act all concerned for my safety, you asshole! Just go back to your party and leave me alone.”

“Like hell I will! You ever run away from me like that again, Lil's... I swear to god... I'll...” There wasn't much light besides that of my car headlights but I could see plain as day how pissed he was. His skin had a red flush to it, and the vein on the side of his neck was throbbing violently.

“You'll what? You'll go fuck a stripper?”

He paused in his rage. “I can guarantee you some of those strippers are gonna get fucked tonight, but not by me. What the hell are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to my car to get my phone and call a cab. “Oh please! Then why didn't the prospect let me in, huh? It's nothing I haven't seen before! Unless there was something else he didn't want me to see.”

I leaned across the seat to begin the search for my phone.

“Get over here.” His voice didn't have quite the same edge as before but was still something I should know better than to mess with.

I was able to find my phone and backed myself out of the car, searching for reception.

“Don't make me throw your phone, too.”

I clutched my phone tight to my chest. He was just crazy enough to do it, too.

“Fine.” I defiantly walk to him. “What?”

“First... I did not
a stripper. Second... I wasn't going to
a stripper later, either. And last... that kid's a new prospect that's already in shit for letting Dewey's ol' lady in earlier. Well, let's just say Barbara's not as understanding as you are. She didn't exactly appreciate some bimbo in a G-string dancing on her man. The prospect got reamed out and no way was he gonna let it happen again. Even for you. Can you blame him?”

I bit my lip, contemplating his words. Knowing Barbara as well as I did, I did't doubt that she freaked the fuck out if a stripper was even ten feet from Dewey.
It could be true.

Jay stepped forward and I took a step back. We paused. He took another step and so did I, until I was pressed up against the front fender of the car. The warmth from the engine was starting to fade, but the heat is still slightly present against the back of my thighs. My skirt isn't overly short but offered little to no protection to the skin beneath it.

“Give me the phone Lil's.”

“Why? So you can throw it?” I counter. The anger now gone, replaced by a sense of foolishness.

“No.” He took the phone from me and tossed it back into the car through the open window. “Because you're going to need both hands to hold on.”

He scooped me up and throws my legs around him, before crushing my mouth with his. “I swear to God, you make me so angry sometimes, woman.” He barely managed to get his words out.

I ripped off the beanie hat he was wearing and fisted my hands into his hair, pulling the strands through my fingers. “How angry?” I taunted him.

He pushed up against the car and lowered my ass onto the cooling hood. “More angry than you want, trust me.”

He leaned back and lifted one of my legs with one hand while using his other to reach under my skirt and hooked his fingers under my panties to pull them off, snaking them down and guiding my leg out through the opening. The flimsy pink cotton dangled down the other leg, catching on my ankle.

He grabbed behind my neck and held me still as he stole another deep kiss, controlling me with his sensual dominance.

“Ummm... Jay.” I moaned into his ear as he kissed and suckled on my neck, twirling his tongue in strong circles above my pulse.

He placed his hand on my breast and kneaded, unforgiving, at my flesh, before using it to press me down, guiding me to lie back on the metal beneath. “Hmmm?”

Jay freed his hand from my chest and began to work on his belt. His eyes staring down at me, fixing me in place.

“I think I may have overreacted.”

He smiled, in his own smart ass way. The way he does when he knows something that you don't. “No shit.”

“Ahhh!” I cried out forcefully as Jay slammed himself into me, hard enough for the car to shake, rocking beneath us.

He grabbed hold around my knees and pulled me closer to him, closer to the edge so that my ass was practically dangling off. He pushed deep again, forcing my hands to grab hold of the metal corner beneath me to brace myself. He pulled and straightened each leg one at a time while placing my ankles to rest over his shoulders, pausing with the last one and kissing the skin on the inside of my lower leg before nipping down on it, causing me to bite down on my own lip and groan in ecstasy.

Jay was a freaking pro in the sack but when he got rough.. oh my God. The fucking earth moved. I swear it.

“You.” He thrusted hard. “Will.” Thrust. “
.” Thrust. “Ever.” Thrust, thrust. I closed my eyes as the world stands still. It's just him, right now, always... it's just him.

“Look at me.” Thrust.

My attention turned back to him, watching him exert himself over me.

Thrust. “Never.” Thrust. “Do.” Thrust. “That.” Thrust, thrust. “Again.” Thrust, thrust and....

“God!!” I called out, as my legs stiffened and clamped around his shoulders.

He clapped my thighs and pulled me into him again, calming my squirming. He wasn’t finished with me yet, though. The thin layer of sweat beading on my legs proved difficult for Jay to maintain his grip, so he held on tighter.

He was pushing himself, pulling me, pounding us together until his point was made, clarified and solidified, before releasing himself and collapsing down to me.

I didn't know how much time had passed. I may have drifted asleep for a moment... but a semi truck passed by waking me, and I nudge Jay.

“I guess you're giving me a ride home, baby.”

He chuckled as he raised his pants and buttoned himself in. “Baby, I just
you a ride.”

I rolled my eyes as I sat up, straightening my skirt. Jay pulled his keys from his bike and played with them. “I've got a spare.”

I held my hand out for the key, but he snapped it back teasingly. “You're gonna drive
and stay behind me the whole way, right?”

I plastered a sarcastic smile on my face and nodded, over enthusiastically. “Yes, sir.”

He dropped the key into my waiting palm. “You're gonna be the death of me, Lil's.”

I jumped to my feet and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Not for another seventy years or so.”






“Enjoy, and come back soon!” the elderly bronze-skinned man behind the counter called out as I leave the restaurant.

My eyes adjust as I exit the overly-fluorescent lighting of Little Gino's. “See ya next week, Freddy boy,” I call out to the best damn Italian chef in three counties.

It wasn't very late yet, and the dark was just settling in. Truthfully, I thought I'd be getting home much later tonight. Church had been short, with no real developments being made.

We were still coming up empty handed on trying to locate the Slayer that helped Lil's the night the shit hit the fan at the farmhouse. We've been searching high and low for this Chris, or “Pretty Boy”, but so far.. no luck. It's like he dropped off the fucking radar.

Lil's swears up and down that she didn't pull the trigger and shoot Shade that night. Our moles in the local police agencies have let us know enough to piece together that they found a gun matching the one that fired the fatal shot into Shade's chest. So far, they haven't been able to place the fingerprints found on it, but they've been circling like hawks. Our lawyers have been able to keep them at bay slightly, but they never seemed to have an end the questions they had for Lil's.

If they get a hold of her prints, I know it will be a match.
. If only one of us had had enough sense to take the gun before hightailing it out of there. If Lil's was telling the truth, and someone else got to Shade before she did, then I'm sure their prints will be on it, too.

We need to find that Pretty Boy, the slayer that was in the farm house that night, and get his prints. If we find the real killer first, this will end up a hell of a lot better than if the cops settle on Lil's.

Vicky's also on the shortlist of suspects. So far, we know she never used the bus ticket I gave her. We've got a few guys trying to track that bitch down, too. I know we don't have much time, with the amount of press the farmhouse slaughter's been getting. Chisolm's always been a quiet town. You throw two big-ticket news stories in the mix and the town goes on high alert. People want answers.

A pretty little innocent college girl gets carjacked and murdered, and a biker thug gets ambushed and fatally shot... people don't forget that shit that easily. Especially when their daughters are driving these same streets.

We've been working double-time trying to reassure the town that we can keep them safe, but we've been hearing that there's tons of heat from the higher ups to make a quick arrest and give the people their culprit, behind bars and far away from them.

I've been able to keep most of this from Lil's, but it's only a matter of time before she catches full wind of it. I'm paying good money to get first word of a warrant before they throw one our way.

Having Jess come in for a few days has been a godsend; it's been a great distraction for Lil's. I hadn't had a chance to get to meet Emily, although I'd be eternally indebted to her. I had once doubted Lil's choice in friends as I was never a fan of Christine, but so far I was liking Jess.

Knowing Lil's as I long as I have, it's a bit awkward meeting people who know my baby as “Julia.” It was a whole different little life they knew each other through, one that I wasn't a part of. Some of Lils' other friends had turned out for Emily's funeral, too. Bobby was interesting. He may not be the type of person we usually hang around, but as long as he keeps Lil's smiling, he's golden in my book. And just as long as he doesn't start hitting on any of my guys. He was drooling like a damn dog when we all pulled up on our bikes this morning.

Carrying small things while riding isn't usually a tough thing to do. When those things just so happened to come right out of a fucking four hundred degree oven, it was a whole other story. My dick is on fire, and not in the way I like. I have less than a minute left before I'm pulling in my driveway, but it's gonna be a long sixty seconds....


I can hear the laughter before I even reach the front door. I smile to myself... that sound is music to my ears right now. It's been a hard day, a long day. Too much death and heartache and bad news... I'm glad they're able to find a little bit of joy in the middle of it.

“Lil's! Baby, I'm gonna leave this stuff in the kitchen!” I call out into the den, where the blue-hued light is dancing on the walls. The sound pauses and footsteps approach as I set out the containers.

Slender arms grab around me, as I lay out some napkins.

“Smells fantastic! What'd you get?” She squeezes as she eyes the setup on the countertop.

I turn around and place my hands on her hips, setting back to rest against the counters edge.

“A little bit of everything. You two eat up, I'm gonna hit the weights and then a shower.”

My fingers teasingly play with the hem of her tank top, coaxing the cotton aside to graze the softness beneath. Lil's shudders, and I smile triumphantly. Just knowing I can make her body react with a touch makes my burnt dick twitch.

Jess throws me a thumbs up and starts to pile her plate. Lil's scrunches her nose and asks, “You're not eating, baby?”

I bend in and kiss the nape off her neck, before pushing myself off the counter. “Nah... I had a couple slices with Freddy while waiting for the food. I'm good.”

Lil's shrugs her shoulders, and then shifts her gaze over to the lasagna. “Mmm, 'kay... I'll save you some.”

I laugh while letting her pass, but can't help but take a healthy smack at her ass while she does it. Who is she kidding? She's gonna devour every bite and lick the plate clean. Lil's has no self control when it comes to Freddy's lasagna.


The noise vibrates through the floor and I'm able to hear the surround sound as I pound my way through a few sets of bench presses. The girls are finishing their movie. She must have seen this movie a dozen times already. She made me watch it with her one night and she practically knew it word for word.

I move on to the free weights and feel my skin heating up, so I pull my shirt off and throw it on a nearby shelf. With each successive round of reps, I zone further out and get lost in the exertion and release of each movement until my veins swell and plump through my skin.

The noise abruptly ends upstairs and footsteps make their way across the floorboards before fading. I drop the weight in my hands to the floor between my feet and stretch my neck and shoulders. The slight creaking of the steps turns my attention to the staircase, and I grab a towel to pat at the fevered dampness from my skin.

“Hey, babygirl...”

She answers me with her eyes, running up and down the length of me. They cloud over and she nods approvingly. “

I cock my head to the side. “I aim to please.”

Lil's licks her plump lips over themselves, while sauntering her way to me. She runs the sharp edge of her finger nail over my skin, tracing the indented seam between each muscle. My baby knows every inch of my body, just as I know hers... but every once in a while she just takes it all in as if seeing it for the first time.

“Umm hmm...” She replaces her finger with her warm tongue, trailing and kissing her way across my chest, teasing from nipple to nipple. Her teeth scrape the heightened peaks and her eyes dart up to mine while her hands continue their exploration further and further down until she settles on the full weight of my stiffened cock.

She expertly pushes at the elastic of my gym shorts until they hang off my hips, springing her favorite of all my muscles to life.

“How 'bout a workout?”

As if she even needed to ask.

I grab at her quickly and press her softness into me, working my hands in the thin material of her tank top, pulling to remove it from between us. Her tits crash into me, spilling their flesh out as she struggles to get closer. These babies have really fuckin' blossomed lately. I steal myself from her lips and bend down to latch on to one of her perfect little nubs, sucking hard and deep as I massage the other.

“Yes...” she moans, and grabs at my hair, my shoulders, edging me on.

My hand dives deep into her panties. Yup. She's damn ready.

“Christ, Lil's...”

My girl's always been game when I am, but the last week or so her drive has been off the fuckin' charts! A weaker man may not have the stamina to keep up, but fuck... I'm always up for a challenge.

I growl low in my throat. I'll take everything this woman has to give and beg for more.

“Tell me what you want baby...” I lick her lips, awaiting her command.

She pauses, choosing her words. Breathing deep, she cups my cheeks in her small hands, fingers gracefully stroking over my stubbled skin. “Slow... I want to stretch out and prolong every single touch so I can imagine it will never end.”

I replace my lips with my thumb, guiding it over her luscious bottom lip. I can feel it quivering under the pad of my finger. Sometimes I can swear that she has a direct link to the inner depths of me. It's as if she knows the sacrifice I was preparing to make for her, for our little family, if need be.

“I'm sorry... I don't know why I'm getting so emotional lately.” She tries to hide herself as I catch the lone tear drop rolling down her cheek with a kiss.

I smooth out her skin with my thumb, erasing all signs of the moisture.

“Don't ever be sorry, Lil's.” I straighten, forcing her downcast eyes up. “Look at me, baby.”

Her eyes blink away any lingering wetness, and she nods.

Lil's brought home a book last week about what to expect, and all that. She's been reading it every night before falling asleep and giving me the abridged version. I know she's just hormonal and super sensitive, but all that aside, if I can do something to help... I’m damn well gonna try.

Gently, I sweep her hair back over her shoulders and rest my palms behind her neck, massaging any tenseness. I massage my way down below her shoulder blades, her lower back. She swallows hard, gooseflesh breaking out in patches across her creamy skin. My hands roam past her hips, under her thighs and scoop her up, bouncing her to settle in my arms with her legs clinging around my lower hips.

She arches her head, exposing her stretched neck for me. I nuzzle in, and slip my tongue into the hollowed space below her ear... the spot that I know is her undoing. I can feel her pulse quicken and her chest rises sharply. I carry us over to the weight bench, swaying us in time with the rhythm of our tongues.

I turn and sit on the bench, bringing Lil's down to straddle me She leans forward on her knees and pushes down on her little pajama shorts. My palms attempt to help her, groping her ass and feeling the softness and plush padding of her curves as her cotton bottoms become nothing more than a pile on the floor.

Slowly guiding her to settle down my length, she hisses while sliding herself to my base until I fill her fully. We both pause, taking in the moment. It wasn't that long ago when we were lost to each other. She is back in my arms, where she belongs... where she'll always belong.

Lil's rocks herself into me, as we devour each other. Slow... just how she wants it. Her fingers speak to me, covering me and conveying their messages of her want and need. Her lips have swollen from the endless kiss we share. There is a time and place for words. Lil's is usually full of colorful ones, too, with her trucker mouth. But here, now... we don't need them. My lips, her fingers, our bodies... tell each other more than simple words ever could.

We continue to talk to each other in this carnal way until we set each other off, panting and pulling at each other.


Later that night, after we make our way upstairs into bed, and she lazily holds on to me drifting in and out of sleep... I ask her.

“Baby... did you think about it, make your mind up yet?” I know she knows what “it” is. I've been asking her for the past two days.

She stirs. “I have. I don't know what the rush is, but... yeah. Let's do it.”

I know the room is dark but I can feel the energy from her smile, and I sure as hell know she can feel mine.

“Yeah? You sure?” I almost don't want to ask, don't want to give her a chance to change her mind.

In the darkness I can see her looking up at me, feel her nodding head on my shoulder. “I'm sure. It's not gonna be easy pulling off a wedding, even a small one, in two weeks.”

Little does she know it's gonna be much easier than she thinks. When you've got a family, both blood and club, as big as we do, you could do it in a fucking day if you want to. Especially when it's imperative it gets done soon in case the club's plan doesn't work and I need to switch to my back up plan.

“We'll do it, Lil's. It'll be beautiful and everything you want. You run the show. On one condition...”

I feel her breath catch, and she eyes me wearily. “Wha-what

I grin. “You call the shots for the wedding day... but me, I call them for the wedding night.”

She laughs as I roll over, blanketing her naked curves with my body. I hitch her leg up around me. “I should start planning now, but, babygirl... not gonna be slow this time.”