Authors: Claire Raye
Copyright © 2014 by Claire Raye
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appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any
similarities to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended
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Prologue- Ten Years Ago- Beck
Chapter Two- Beck
Chapter Thirteen- Kelsey
Chapter Fourteen- Beck
Chapter Fifteen- Kelsey
Chapter Sixteen- Beck
Chapter Seventeen- Kelsey
Chapter Eighteen- Beck
Chapter Nineteen- Kelsey
Chapter Twenty- Beck
Chapter Twenty-One- Kelsey
Chapter Twenty-Two- Beck
Chapter Twenty-Four- Beck
Chapter Twenty-Five- Kelsey
Chapter Twenty-Six- Beck
Chapter Twenty-Eight- Beck
Chapter Twenty-Nine- Kelsey
Chapter Thirty- Beck
Chapter Thirty-One- Kelsey
Chapter Thirty-Two- Beck
Epilogue- Two Months Later- Kelsey
Finding Home with You- Book
“Kels, baby… Please,” I say, practically
begging her. “Why won’t you just come with me?”
I watch as she crosses her arms over her
chest and pouts. This is what happens when she won’t budge on something. It’s the
look she gives me when she wants me to cave and give in to her. I usually do, I’m
powerless when it comes to saying no to this girl. Except for now, this time I
just can’t give in. I need to leave this place and there’s nothing she can say
or do to convince me otherwise.
“Why won’t you just stay?” she says, her
eyes glistening with tears.
“You know why,” I say, stepping towards
her. Her body stiffens as I do, so I stop, my heart pounding in my chest at
what might really be happening here.
“I don’t, Beck,” she says, her arms
tightening. “All I know, is you apparently don’t love me enough to stay. You
don’t love me enough to want to stay here with me.”
“Fuck!” I say, my hands gripping my hair
in frustration. “And maybe you don’t love me enough to leave?”
“You know I do,” she says, her voice
“But you still won’t come?”
Kelsey throws her arms up in frustration
now. “You know I can’t, Beck,” she says. “I have to stay, for them, you
“And you know I have to go,” I say,
taking a step backwards now before I give in and do what she wants.
“So I guess this is it then?” she asks,
tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I guess so,” I say, taking another step
away from her, even as my body is screaming at me to do the opposite.
“Well thanks, Beck,” she spits out, bitterness
in her voice that I’ve never heard before. “Thanks for fucking nothing.”
“Shit, Kels, come on,” I say, but it’s
too late, because before I even finish my sentence, Kelsey turns and walks out
the door and somehow I know this really is it.
The sky lights up with the first blazing
firework as I stand on the saltwater-worn back deck of The Rockport Beach Inn. Memorial
Day weekend, the unofficial start of summer and the beginning of tourist
season. I never thought ten years later I would still be standing here. That I
would be living in Rockport, running my parents’ inn; but after my dad died
five years ago, I knew I couldn’t let it fail. It was their dream, their
livelihood and the one thing I had left of both of them.
But it’s all bittersweet. This weekend,
the inn, the worn out deck, the fireworks, all my memories come flooding back
as that first tear stings my eye and runs down my cheek.
Even after ten years, I still miss him.
But he made his choice and it didn’t include me. I choke back the tears and
shake off the thoughts that have clouded my head.
“Damn it, Beck,” I mumble as a knot forms
in my stomach. I don’t know if it’s regret or hurt or anger that continually
brings him back to me, but whatever it is, I can’t seem to get past it.
I know I need to move on and I’ve tried.
I realize he isn’t coming back, but moving on has been harder than I thought.
I run my hands through my hair and exhale
a hard breath trying to rid him from my brain.
I take a step backwards and as I turn
around, I find myself face to face with my nighttime desk attendant, Abby. A
ditzy local girl with dreams of finding a handsome, rich tourist who will take
her far away from this sleepy little town.
I was her once, but life has a funny way
of uprooting your dreams and making your reality something you never thought it
“Abby, geez, you scared me,” I say,
hoping she can’t see the sadness that is written all over my face. I look away
quickly, glancing back over my shoulder as the fireworks continue to erupt out
over the water.
“Sorry, Kelsey,” she says with her perfectly
clueless-about-life smile plastered on her face. “There’s someone at the front
desk who wants to see you.”
I roll my eyes and let a small huff
escape my lips before acknowledging her comment. “Did you tell them the inn is
full? We have no vacancy. Don’t these people know it’s Memorial Day weekend?
Abby laughs and I realize how bitchy I
sound. Without these people I would have nothing, but that doesn’t mean they
don’t drive me crazy.
“No, it’s not like that,” Abby says as we
step inside. I can see a twinkle in her eyes and her smile widens as she says,
“It’s a guy and he’s hot.”
“What?” I practically shout and Abby
laughs again. “He’s looking for me? Are you sure? Did he ask for me by name or
just to speak to the owner?” I sound a little too overzealous, a bit too excited
for my own good.
Could it really be him? Could it be Beck?
My Beck, coming back the same weekend he left so many years ago. He’s always
been a hopeless romantic and I’ve always been a dreamer.
I feel myself smiling as my heart begins
to race. The excitement that flows through me ignites my entire body with
sparks as hot and bold as the fireworks in the sky.
“Yep. That hot boy down there asked for
you by name. And he’s got the best Boston accent I’ve ever heard. Like melt
your panties hot.” Abby winks at me as I push past her and haul ass down the
It can only be him.
I can’t move fast enough and my
nervousness begins to take over. My heartbeat is out of control, pulsing thick
and fast in my chest, reverberating through my ears, drowning out any other
I can picture him, the line of his square
jaw, the masculinity of his face, his perfect blue eyes and that small bump on
the bridge of his nose from when he broke it during a fight with Tommy Prescott
when we were kids. It all makes him heart-stoppingly beautiful, and coupled
with his tanned skin and light brown tousled hair; I can’t stand it any longer.
I imagine his arms around me, his hands
exploring my body after all this time. I feel my nipples harden under my shirt
and press achingly against my bra. Just the thought of his hands makes my body
grow weak with need. Desire pools hot and wet between my legs. It’s been too
long and in this moment I can’t even remember why he left or why I was angry.
None of it matters.
I hit the first landing on the staircase
and nearly stumble. Catching my balance, I try to compose myself. I can’t see
him for the first time in ten years all flushed and looking like all I want is
to be fucked by him. Long and hard and desperate.
Oh my God, what is wrong with me?
I pull in a few deep breaths and exhale
each one slowly before continuing down the stairs. When I hit the main floor, I
My heart stops, the hard beat that had
taken over ceases instantly and I suddenly feel like I might vomit. It’s not
him. It’s not Beck. It’s my worst nightmare.
My body finally catches up and my heart
begins to beat again. Fast and violent as sweat builds throughout my body; my
hands are shaking and I swallow hard. I want to scream, I want to run, but my
body won’t comply.
He grins at me, that disgusting coy
smile, that makes my stomach churn, and as he steps closer, I recoil immediately.
“Kelsey, doll-face, I’ve missed you.” His
voice is like slime, smarmy and sick just like him.
“Jason, you can’t be here.” I turn around
searching for Abby, the closest phone, something, anything to make me feel
safe. I hear Abby’s feet behind me and without turning around, I yell to her,
“Call the police!”
“Aw, come on, Kelsey, don’t be that way,”
he begs as he takes a step closer.
“Don’t come any closer!” I scream, but
the fear slips through and it comes out shaky and feeble.
Jason laughs as he closes the small
distance between us. “Some things never change,” he says smugly. As he
approaches, his chest is out and his eyes are trained on my mine. His loud
voice fills the room and his arrogance is stifling as his mouth twists into an evil
smile. “I always loved when you put up a fight, but I think we both know, I’ll
“Not this time. You need to leave, Jason.
The police will be here any minute.” I try my best, but he’s right, I’m weak
and scared. My shaking hands and the tremble in my voice do nothing to hide this
and Jason moves closer, until he’s standing directly in front of me.
I can feel his hot breath against my face
when he speaks and it causes a shiver to run through my body. His words are
laced with disgust and the seriousness in his tone makes me shudder.
“Kelsey, you can’t get rid of me that
easily. Did you really think a piece of paper would keep me away? If you did, you’re
far more stupid than I thought. Don’t underestimate me.”
Jason takes my face in his hands and a whimper
leaves my mouth as tears pool in my eyes. He can’t be this close to me. I was
supposed to be safe and protected, but something failed.
Just as Jason tightens his grip on my
face, the sound of sirens wail through the quiet of the night, startling me and
He narrows his eyes and releases my face,
but the scowl remains. His words come out in a growl as he moves towards the
entrance of the inn. “Don’t think this is the end of this, Kelsey. I know where
you work. I know where you live. One day you’ll be alone and I will find you.”
He disappears out the door and I scramble
to the front desk, gripping the counter tightly because I feel like my legs
might give out. I close my eyes and pray that what just happened was a dream, a
nightmare, anything but real. But when I take in Abby’s wide-eyed, pale face, I
know it all happened and it not only scared the shit out of me, it also shook
her to the core.
“Who was that?” she asks, concern and
fear filling her voice.
“My ex, Jason Henderson.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Abby questions,
but this time she sounds more angry than fearful.
“What was I supposed to do? Post his
picture behind the desk with a sign that says, ‘Kelsey’s crazy stalker
ex-boyfriend. Beware.’ Like that wouldn’t scare away employees and customers.”
Abby sighs and slaps her hands down on
the counter. “Seriously, Kelsey, you should have told me.”
“Sorry. Now you know.” I don’t mean to
sound insincere or dismissive, but I need to make light of the situation in
order to convince her and myself that our safety and the safety of our guests
isn’t compromised. I give Abby a small forced smile that does nothing to ease
my anxiety and judging by the look on her face, she isn’t done with this
Before Abby can continue her verbal
assault, the police enter the inn and the tension in the room goes from high to
Guns are drawn, with at least five of
them storming the small lobby of the inn and two standing guard outside. As
much as I love their responsiveness, this town is full of Barney Fifes with far
too little to do. This call is the most excitement they’ve had since that
unsolved boat fire back in ‘99. I’m pretty sure the entire force has convened
at The Rockport Beach Inn, along with all the tourists that are now returning
from the beach after watching the fireworks. This is just great for business.
“Put the guns away, guys,” I call quietly
from behind the desk, shaking my head, as I plaster a smile on my face. The
guests begin filing through the door, each with the same questioning look on
their face. “Sorry folks, just a misunderstanding. No worries.”
I quickly look over at Abby and without
speaking she knows exactly what to do. She picks up the phone and orders a
bottle of wine and chocolate covered strawberries for every room at the inn.
Delivered as soon as possible with hopes that each one of the guests disregards
the SWAT team that has taken over The Rockport Beach Inn and disrupted their relaxing
Memorial Day weekend getaway.
As the crowd is dispersing, the chief of
police signals to me from across the room and motions for me to meet him
outside. A flick of his head towards the doorway and I’m following him as
quickly as possible. I don’t need any more drama.
He stops just short of the road and looks
at me with concern.
“Kelsey, are you okay?”
“Of course, Finn. I’m fine. Nothing I can’t
handle,” I say smiling through the fear that has settled in my chest. It feels
like a vise closing in on me. Squeezing and making it hard to breathe.
“Why don’t you let me take you home? We’ll
put a squad car outside your house just to be on the safe side.”
I shake my head and begin to walk back to
the inn. I can’t leave now. I can’t leave the guests, Abby, the inn; all
unattended and with the constant worry that Jason will return.
“Kelsey!” Finn shouts as I walk away. I ignore
him, but he calls again. “Kels!” And that’s what makes me stop dead in my
tracks. He sounds just like Beck. So much so it makes my heart break all over
again. I shouldn’t be surprised; they are brothers after all.
“Don’t call me that,” I snap back. “You
sound just like him.”
Storming back into the inn, I find Abby
giggling like a teenager while a young deputy leans up against the desk and
shamelessly flirts with her. Finn is right behind me and his voice booms when
he calls my name for a third time.
“Kelsey, I really think you should go
home and rest. He won’t be coming back tonight.”
“I can take care of myself, Finn. Thanks
for your concern, but you can go now,” I say as I begin straightening papers
that are strewn on the desk, just looking for something to do.
“Kelsey, you really should go home. I’ll
be fine here. Deputy Corcoran told me he’d stay and make sure nothing else
happens,” Abby says, as the young cop winks at her and she giggles again.
“Fine, fine,” I say conceding, but still
annoyed with the whole situation.
I wish Abby a good night and climb into
the front seat of Finn’s squad car. We ride in silence for a few minutes before
one of us speaks.
“Kelsey, this is the third time something
like this has happened and it’s only been a few months. He’s not going to
I nod my head in response. I’m not sure
what he wants me to say. I have no control over what Jason does; let alone
where he decides to show up. Of course I’m terrified, but I’m not sure what
more I can do. I filed a restraining order, had him charged with trespassing
and got him locked up for a night. All that did was piss him off even more.
After that, I installed an alarm system on my little cottage and got a dog. I
can’t uproot my entire life because some asshole I dated thinks it was more
“You need to call him,” Finn says firmly as
he pulls into my driveway. “He’d be here in a second if he knew you were in
“No. I’m not calling him and I’m not in
trouble,” I mutter through gritted teeth, angry at just the thought of breaking
down and calling Beck. I won’t do it. He’s the one who left me. The one who
left my emotions running wild, left me with a broken heart and has yet to
And even though the thought of seeing him
today sent my body into a tailspin and had me more excited than I’ve been in
years, I know it’s wrong. I can’t allow myself to get hurt again. Nothing has
changed and it never will. Calling him will only bring more pain into my life.
I slam the door to the cruiser and call a
good night to Finn with a dismissive wave of my hand. I hear him shout
something about an officer being parked outside my house and in return I let
out a quick thank you before closing the door to my cottage.
When I’m finally alone, I realize how
much this evening has affected me. The stress weighing heavy on my shoulders
and the fear that Jason will return suddenly consumes me. I move through the
house checking the locks and the windows, setting the alarm and letting Bella,
my German Shepard outside. I do it all a second time before I finally
Shaking with fear as heaving sobs rack my
body, I climb into bed, pulling the covers up over my head as I try to block
out all that has happened today.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Beck
was supposed to be here. He was my protector, my safety and the love of my life,
but all of that is gone now.
“So, what’ve we got?” I ask, flashing my
badge as I walk towards the uniformed kid standing by the police barricade.
“It’s not good, Sir,” he says. “Homicide,
“Fuck,” I murmur, just what I fucking
need on Memorial Day weekend. “What’s the status on the investigation?”
The young kid looks at me and shrugs.
“Don’t know, just got here, you’ll need to talk to that guy,” he says, pointing
towards an older uniformed policeman standing with a blonde woman, who must be the
I nod and walk over, catching a glimpse
of the bare feet of the body sticking out from behind the dumpster. Jesus
christ, they look young, whoever it is.
“Detective O’Loughlin, homicide,” I say
to the pair of them. “Can someone get me up to speed?”
The M.E. turns to me. I watch her brows
lift, almost in surprise, before she smiles in a way that says she’d be willing
to do more than just get me up to speed. I shoot her a quick smile in return
before turning to the cop standing in front of the body.
“White female, possibly mid-twenties.
Lacerations, defensive wounds, suspected strangulation and sexual assault.
Found by this guy,” he says, gesturing to what looks like a homeless man. “When
walking his dog
,” he adds in a
way that suggests he doesn’t believe a word of it.
“Walking his dog, huh?” I ask. “That sure
sounds like a pile of shit.”
The cop laughs. “Yeah, my thoughts
“Got an ID on the vic?” I ask, as I step
around him to take a look at the body. I don’t hear a word he says though, as
all of the air suddenly rushes from my lungs. “Fucking hell,” I say, my stomach
threatening to empty all over the dead woman the second I get a look at her
face. God, fuck, please don’t let it be her. It can’t possibly be, not here in
“Detective, you okay?” the cop asks, taking
a step towards me.
“Yeah, ah, yep,” I say, feeling anything
but okay. These two sure as hell don’t need to know that the victim could be
the love of my life. The one I let get away and the one woman I’ve still never
managed to get over. “Have you, ahh… have you got an ID?” Fuck, fuck, fuck, it’s
not her, surely.
“Yeah, we found a bag close by, wallet
looks like it’s been emptied but there’s a BU staff ID. Photo matches, goes by the
name of Jane Donovan. You know her or something, Detective?”
I exhale loudly as I run my hand through
my hair. Thank fuck it’s not her.
I turn to face the cop. “No, I don’t,” I
say, crouching down by the body for a closer look now. “For a minute there, I
thought I did.”
But as I look over the body up close, I
can see now how wrong I was. The victim doesn’t look anything like Kelsey. Her
hair is too light, nothing like the deep, rich brown hair that Kelsey has. She’s
shorter too, and the body a little heavier. It definitely isn’t the body I
remember spending so much time getting to know when we were kids. Not that I’d
really know what Kelsey looks like anymore. I haven’t seen her since I left
Rockport, what, ten years ago?
Fuck, has it really been ten years since
I last saw her?
She probably looks completely different
to how I remember her now. But as my eyes involuntarily close, I immediately conjure
up a picture of her. It’s one of my favorites; an image that I think about far
too often. In it she’s naked and lying in my bed, laughing as I kiss my way up
her body. Jesus christ, that girl, the things she did to me. The things I did
I shake my head and force my eyes to open
as I let the memory go. I can’t go back there. Kelsey and I are done. We wanted
different things and despite being madly in love with her, I knew neither of us
could compromise. She wouldn’t move to Boston and I couldn’t stay in Rockport.
I stand and turn to the M.E. who’s
looking at me in a way that might involve concern. “You got everything you
need?” I ask, ignoring her. The last thing I need is pity.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she says, relaxing a little
when she sees me snap back into detective mode.
“Great,” I say, turning to the cop. “Let’s
get this wrapped up then. Get your boys to canvas the area, look for any clues.
In the meantime, I’ll take this clown,” I add, gesturing to the homeless guy, “into
the station and see if he can’t come up with a different story. One that makes
“Okay, thanks, Sir,” the cop says,
immediately walking over to the rest of his crew to start directing the search.
“Yeah?” I say, turning back to the M.E.
“You, maybe wanna get a drink after
work?” she asks, lowering her clipboard and sticking her tits out as she tries
on a flirty smile now that we’re alone. Fuck me; she’s got balls asking for a
date in the middle of crime scene.
“Ah, I don’t normally date colleagues,” I
say, running a hand through my hair as I still let myself give her a quick once
She smiles at me, running her tongue over
her bottom lip as she says, “Well, we’re hardly colleagues, are we? I mean technically,
I don’t work at the station or for you.”
I take a deep breath, memories of Kelsey
once more flashing through my brain. She and I had met when I was sixteen and
taken on a job with her family at the inn. Mostly random maintenance shit on
account of the fact that I was too young to tend bar in my granddad’s pub. She’d
had balls too, but in a different way, flirting with me like a pro even though
I was a year older than her. I’d admired her guts, along with her ass, and of
course I’d eventually caved and asked her out on a date. I already knew who she
was, I’d known before I’d even taken the job.
But that’s what you get in small towns.
Everyone knows fucking everyone.
I shake my head, wondering if maybe a
drink with this woman might be a good idea after all. God knows the last thing
I need is to start reliving old times with Kelsey, again. Those days are over.
“Yeah?” she says and I swear she knows
she’s got me.
“Fuck it, okay,” I say, pulling out a
card and handing it to her. “Call me later when you know when you’ll be done.”
“Sounds good,” she purrs before she turns
and walks away, her ass swinging because she knows I’m watching her.
As I do though, I can’t help but think she
is nothing like Kelsey. There is absolutely nothing similar about them and
maybe, that’s exactly what I need if I ever think I’m going to be able to let
By five o’clock, I’m ready to head home.
I haven’t heard from the M.E. and we’ve gotten no further in the case. The
homeless guy turned out to be legit, the dog he was supposedly walking just a
figment of his under-medicated imagination.
I walk out of the station and am about to
turn towards the parking lot when a voice calls out. “Detective!”
Turning, I see her smiling face, her huge
tits and her swinging hips as they walk towards me. I can’t help but be
impressed, my dick even managing a slight twitch at the sight of her. Yeah,
this is exactly what I fucking need.
“I thought you were calling me?” I say, a
half smile on my face as she stops in front of me. She’s undone an extra button
on her shirt since this morning, her cleavage on full display now. I don’t
bother to hide my obviousness as I check her out.
“I know,” she says. “But I thought I’d
drop by and surprise you.”
“Consider me surprised,” I respond, as I
gesture to the Irish pub across the street.
We head over and as we walk inside, I do
a quick look around to see if any of the boys from the station are here. This
is our local and it’s probably a dumb fucking idea bringing the M.E. in here,
but at the moment, I don’t really care. I’m not looking for any kind of long-term
relationship with her. In fact I’d be happy with a quick fuck and a see you
later, type thing. So I really don’t give a shit if half the station knows I’m
planning to screw her.
But there’s no one here, the weekend team
light, on account of Memorial Day weekend. Only those of us without family were
lucky enough to be scheduled on today. I sure as shit don’t have any; I’ve
barely spoken to mine since I left them ten years ago. Like Kelsey, they were just
as pissed that I walked out, turned my back on the family tradition, and opted
for the ‘big lights’ of the city. None of them knew what my real reasons for leaving
were and as none of them had bothered to come and visit me, I hadn’t felt the
need to go back and visit them either.
“Detective?” the M.E. asks, and I get the
feeling I’ve missed something I was supposed to have been listening to.
“It’s Beck,” I say, smiling as I push the
memories of this very day ten years ago to the back of my mind. “Call me Beck.”
She smiles at me. “I’m Miranda,” she
says, reaching out her hand.
I take it in mine and my smile widens as
we shake hands, Miranda’s finger lightly stroking the inside of my wrist. In
that instant, I know I’m getting laid tonight.
Three hours and five pints of Guinness
later, I’m feeling very relaxed and wondering what I can do to get this woman
naked soon. Miranda is on her third glass of white wine and looks as though she’s
drunk enough to be up for it right here in the bar.
“Did you always want to be a detective
when you were growing up?” she asks, her tongue doing another once over of her
Her question threatens to reignite
memories I don’t want to be thinking about. Right now, with the sounds of
distant fireworks already ringing out, I need something that’s as far away from
Memorial Day and Rockport and Kelsey as I can get.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I say,
smiling as I stand and reach out a hand to Miranda.
She takes it and I roughly pull her up,
my other hand going to her hip as she stumbles slightly. “Oh,” she says,
smiling when I don’t let go. “What do you want to talk about then?”
I take a step closer, grateful there’s no
one I know in here tonight. “How about we don’t do any talking at all?”
Miranda smiles as her free hand goes to
my chest, her nails digging in as she takes a step towards me so her tits are
now pressing against me. “That sounds like a good idea, Detective.”
Thirty minutes later and we’re pulling
into the shitty apartment I live in just outside of Dorchester. This couldn’t
be a worse neighborhood to live in and I’m probably going to wind up with
Miranda spending the night because it’s safer than trying to get her home in a
cab. Maybe it will get me a morning after fuck too.
We walk silently up the stairs to my one
bedroom apartment. As I close the door behind me and throw my keys into the
bowl on the counter, Miranda pounces on me, not bothering with small talk
anymore. I find my back pressed against the front door and her tits against my
chest and before I can say a word, her lips are on mine and her tongue is forcing
its way into my mouth.
She tastes like wine and I realize that neither
of us have had dinner and that’s probably why she’s as drunk as she is. I’m not
really concerned with eating right now, at least not the food variety.
I put my hands on her hips and push off
the door, walking her backwards in the direction of my bedroom.
“Detective,” she murmurs, her lips
briefly leaving mine. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
I can’t help but laugh. “I think we’re
way past that point.”
“Mmmm,” she whispers, her fingers sliding
off my suit jacket before moving to the buttons on my shirt.
I’m less considerate of hers; grabbing
the front and ripping it open in one quick move. I hear buttons fly across the
room, but I’m too distracted by her huge tits spilling out from a black lace
bra to even care. I slide my hands around her back and unclasp it, my mouth
immediately sucking on one of her nipples the instant it’s free. Miranda’s head
falls back with a groan and I palm her other tit with my hand, my fingers
twisting and squeezing the nipple.
“Undo my pants,” I mumble, needing to get
this show on the road. Miranda fumbles with the belt and zipper and it occurs
to me that she may be drunk enough that she’s not entirely in control here. But
when she finally gets them down my hips and her hand goes immediately for my
dick, I stop caring. I make quick work of her skirt and panties before I push
her backwards onto the bed, enjoying the bounce of her tits as she lands.
“You like it rough, Detective?” she purrs
as she lays back and opens her legs invitingly.
“I like it hard,” I tell her, reaching for
a condom in the side drawer. “Hard and fast.”
Because this, with her, can be nothing
like it was with Kelsey. Even though at times, it was rough and sometimes even fast,
especially when we needed to sneak in a quickie in one of the empty rooms at
the inn, it was nothing like the meaningless sex this is about to be. Tonight is
nothing more than rough, hard and fast sex that temporarily satisfies. The kind
that gives you a release and leaves you sated for the night, but which deep
down, barely scratches the surface of what you really need.
“Well, hurry up and give it to me then,”
Miranda says, bending her right leg at the knee and exposing her already
glistening pussy to me.
“How about we go back to the no more
talking thing,” I say, as I bend down and bury my face in her pussy and stop
thinking about it all together.
An hour and two fucks later, Miranda is fast
asleep. Curled around me as though we are long-term lovers who’ve done this a
thousands times before. It feels wrong and awkward and I know I’m going to
struggle to sleep with her beside me like this. I’m too exhausted for another
round of fucking and in any case, I’m not sure I could possibly bring myself to
do it. Ever since I started this whole shitfight, I’ve had a near constant
barrage of images both of the victim and of Kelsey’s naked body assault me.
Giving up on sleep entirely, I drag myself out of bed, pull on some sweats and
walk into the living room, pouring myself a large scotch before collapsing on
the couch. Reluctantly, I pull out a photo album, hidden beneath the couch, and
open it on my lap. It’s filled with photos of Kelsey and me, and even though I’ve
spent the last ten years telling myself to let her go, deep down I know that I
never quite do.
That I probably never will.
I feel his mouth on me, the stubble of
his unshaven face rub against my inner thigh and I moan. I’m squirming as he
grips my thighs tightly with his hands, bending my legs at the knees and
spreading them. Warmth builds in my belly and spills out, covering me with the
sensation of being on fire. I stretch out on the bed and open my legs even
wider. I need him to see what he’s doing to me. I’m soaked, dripping with
desire, and craving him.
His tongue caresses the inside of my leg,
but he stops short of exactly where I need him to be. He’s teasing me and the
thought makes me grow even more needy.
“Please,” I beg, lifting my hips off the
bed and forcing myself closer to him.
He laughs, but responds seductively with,
“What, baby?” And flicks his tongue against my clit.
I throw my head back and close my eyes,
my hips leave the bed again as his mouth finally connects exactly where I need
it. His tongue thrusting in and out of me while his thumb presses against my
overly sensitive hard nub.
Writhing and panting as my breathing
becomes labored, I tangle my fingers in his hair, just waiting for the moment
when I finally come undone.
He stops and looks up the length of my
body, his gorgeous blue eyes filled with lust and desire as he runs his tongue
along his bottom lip.
“Kels, baby,” he says, and just the sound
of his voice nearly pushes me over the edge. “I could spend hours tasting you, fucking
you, making you come.”
I gasp at his words and feel my body
begin to tingle, moaning again, this time louder and more desperate.
“I need to come. Make me come, Beck,” I plead.
With a cocky, satisfied smile on his
face, he returns his mouth to my center as his fingers begin fucking me. His
tongue traces lazy circles around my clit making me squirm and become wetter
than I ever thought possible. It’s exactly what I need and I feel my body tense
under his control. I call out as I come hard and fast.
“Beck! Oh my god, Beck!”
I shoot up in bed, the sunlight streaming
through the slats in the blinds, warming the room and making my already hot and
flushed body feel even more heated.
“Holy shit,” I mutter, running my hands
over my face. I can’t believe I just came in my sleep and to make it worse, it
was at the hands of Beck’s mouth. Fuck me, that boy’s mouth is like the eighth
wonder of the world. Even after ten years I can’t get rid of him and judging by
the way I woke up today, do I want to? I can deal with a dream world where Beck
returns and fucks me senseless on a regular basis.
I fall back against the pillows and try
to process exactly what happened. Why have I been dreaming about him and why
does he affect my body in ways no one else ever has?
“Ugh, Bella, this boy is going to be the
death of me.” Bella sits up and wags her tail, giving me that head tilt she
does when I talk to her like a person. “Let’s take a walk,” I say as I hop out
of bed, and this time she races to the front door.
Bella and I hit the beach and my head
begins to clear. The salty sea air and the cool morning breeze calms me, but it’s
only a matter of time before Beck makes his way back into my thoughts.
Finn’s words are still floating around in
my head, along with images of Beck. “He’d be here in a second if he knew you
were in trouble.” Am I in trouble? It’s been a week since Jason showed up at The
Rockport Beach Inn and made a scene, but it’s honestly nothing I can’t handle.
He just caught me off guard, that’s all. And at this point I’m far too self-righteous
to give in and tell Beck I need him. I needed him more than anything ten years
ago and he turned his back on me. I managed that on my own; I surely don’t need
I slow down and Bella tugs at the leash
bringing me back to the present. I need to move on, get over all of this, and
get Beck out of my head.
He isn’t coming
, I tell myself, but it’s like it’s falling on deaf ears. No matter how
many times I say it, there will always be a part of me that longs for him.
Beck was my first love, and to this day
he still holds a piece of my heart. How could he not? I still remember my dad
hiring him to do summer maintenance around the property and I was instantly
taken by his charm and good looks. Not to mention how he made everything in me
tingle when he took his shirt off.
We were just kids and he was a year
older, but that didn’t stop me from getting what I wanted. It was the first
time I had ever felt that connection, that attraction to someone. I wanted Beck,
and all it took was my body and my smart mouth to win him over. After that we
couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
This stroll down memory lane needs to end
or I’m going to find myself back in bed with a vibrator.
I sit down in the sand and Bella sidles
up against me, pressing her hot fur to my bare legs. She’s waiting for me to
unclip her leash so she can play in the water and cool down. I give her a quick
pat on the head as I remove her leash. She waits patiently for her command
before running towards the water and submerging herself chest deep. She spends
her usual amount of time frolicking about before returning to my side, and we
head back home to start our day.
The lobby of The Rockport Beach Inn is
swamped with guests checking in when I finally arrive for the day. It will be
like this until September, which is good. I’m not complaining, but it is
stressful ensuring everything is done to the highest level of satisfaction. No
one loves this place like I do, so some days I feel like I’m the only one who’s
really putting in the effort it needs to be great. Some might call me
demanding, but in a small tourist town where your livelihood depends on the
success of your small business, there is no room for error.
It only takes ten minutes before the inn
is in full swing. Taking requests for extra towels, subduing complaints about
ants in room twelve, booking fishing charters, making reservations for dinner
given there’s always more tourists than there are tables in this small town. It
keeps me busy and makes me forget my, oh so sweaty morning with imaginary Beck
in my bed.
That is until Erin comes storming in with
that look on her face. The one that says she’s pissed and it’s my fault. I had
completely forgotten I sent her a text telling her I had a sex dream about
“Who sends their best friend a text like
that and then doesn’t respond?” she accuses, as she flops down in her favorite
chair. It’s an atrocious wingback that is covered in birds and flowers that she
just wouldn’t let me get rid of. I had The Rockport Beach Inn remodeled after
my dad passed away to give it a more modern feel, but Erin just wouldn’t let me
get rid of the chair. Her rationale was that it had sentimental value because
it was the first place she ever got felt up by a boy. All the more reason to
toss that thing.
“I got busy. Sorry,” I answer back as I
shuffle through a stack of invoices trying to figure out who ordered the
braided fishing line as opposed to the fluorocarbon for The Rockport Beach Inn
Charters. This is the kind of shit that tourists complain about and that my
charter captains bring back to me.
“You’re ignoring me,” she says in a
“No, no. No I’m not, I’m just…”
“Busy,” she says, finishing my sentence.
“Yeah, so take a hint, missy. Some of us
have to work around here.” I glare at her and she laughs.
“Dinner tonight?” Erin asks, as she jumps
up from the chair and heads out the door.
“Yep,” I respond, still distracted, but
now I’m trying to balance my jumbled thoughts of fishing line and Beck.
She stops in the doorway and smirks at
me. “There are some guys heading out on a charter boat in few. I think one of
them needs little help with their rod.” I shake my head at her dirty minded
joke, but she continues. “Kelsey, why don’t you go down there and help him out?
It just needs a little tug.”
“What?” she asks, feigning innocence. “You
wouldn’t want one of your guests to be upset with your service. Go service
“Go!” I shout and she trots down the
steps as she blows me a kiss.