cutter 5 red sin mc




Copyright 2016
, all rights reserved.

part of this work may be reproduced without written consent of the author. This
book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.

This book is for a mature audience only
due to strong language and strong sexual conduct.





For Marissa: because you have the purest
and most beautiful heart I’ve ever seen up close, because you read every word I
write, because you’re one of the strongest woman I’ve ever known, and because
as gorgeous as you are on the outside doesn’t even begin to compare to your
beauty on the inside and that’s the most important thing of all. I love you,


Chapter One


Two weeks.

That was how long
it had been since I walked into a building in the middle of The Misfit
territory and requested to speak to their President. What I had gotten in
return was a room full of laughs until a few of the higher ranked brothers
stepped forward from the back of the club house and realized who I was.


Not only was I
known wanted Misfit property but I also happened to be the girlfriend of the
Vice President of one of their deepest rivals. Or the Ex girlfriend, or
whatever you wanted you call it. The truth was that I didn’t know where Cutter
and me stood. I just knew that I had betrayed him in the worst way possible and
now he hated me for it. I had hurt the one person I never wanted to cause an
ounce of pain to and now I was doing everything I could to make sure I never
did anything to harm him again: even if that meant spending the rest of my life
as a slave.

Only so far being
held captive didn’t feel much like being a slave.

They had me held
up in this decent sized room with a mini fridge, bed, and T.V. Plus, my own
bathroom. The few Misfit brothers who actually came by didn’t bother me much.
They barely acted like I existed at all. They hadn’t let me go but they hadn’t
hurt me either and that made me feel like there had to be a reason behind it.

And as much as I
hated to admit it, a part of me hoped that it had something to do with Cutter
still caring about me. If they weren’t harming me, maybe it was because Red Sin
had something that wanted more than me and they were willing to make a trade
for it.

I pulled my knees
to my chest and stared at the wall. I wondered what Cutter was doing right now.
Probably having sex with tons of skinny girls with huge boobs, getting drunk
and partying. It was immature to think that way but I couldn’t help feeling
sorry for myself. I should have done this to begin with instead of getting
involved with Cutter and his father and the rest of The Red Sin.

At least then I
wouldn’t know how bad this sucked, I wouldn’t know how much the pain consumed
me. A life without Cutter was miserable because I’d already known a life with
Cutter. But I guess it was better to know that kind of love and then lose it
rather than never know it at all.

A tear slipped
down my cheek.

God, I was such a

The door to my
room swung open with a loud crash. I wiped at my face and swung my body around,
the last thing I wanted to do was seem even weaker to the brothers of The
Misfits. They already thought I was crazy enough turning myself over to them
willingly, I didn’t need to add fuel to the fire. Not that I could blame them,
even I could admit that it was pretty insane of me. But I guess when you loved
someone enough insane things seemed kind of normal
at least justified.

I groaned when I
saw my least favorite of the brothers entering.

“Well, good
morning, sweet pea,” Clause called, kicking the door shut behind him. “How did
Red Sin’s little whore sleep, huh?” He dropped a fast food bag onto the bed and
grinned. “Did you have wet dreams while you thought about me, huh?”

I gagged and he
winked. “I knew it, I know how bad girls like you are.”

It wasn’t that I
was scared of Clause necessarily. He was more of an annoyance, always saying
nasty things and bothering me about things that weren’t true. I suspected it
was more about being bored than actually caring what I was up to.

I grabbed the bag
off the bed and glanced inside. “Wendy’s again?” I sighed. “I’m so sick of
Wendy’s,” I told him, pushing the bag away. “I’m too depressed to eat, anyway.”

He grabbed the bag
away from me and started popping fries into his mouth. “Suit yourself.” He
pulled out a cheeseburger from inside and started unwrapping it. “The girl who
put herself in this situation says she’s too depressed to eat.”

He was right; I’d
done it to myself.

Didn’t mean it
hurt any less.

“Oh, God, wipe the
puppy dog-look off your face.” Clause shoved a bite of his burger into his
mouth. “You can’t go acting all upset all the time. I mean, what exactly did
you think you were walking into here?”

“Don’t you have
anything better to do?” I snapped.

I really wanted to
be alone in my misery.

“Not really,” he
shrugged, chewing loudly. He stuck his tongue out and ran it over his thick
lips. It was too bad he was so obnoxious or he would be pretty attractive. Dark
hair, full lips, perfect abs and a square nose over naturally tan skin.
Something told me his bad attitude stopped him from getting much action,
though. Of course, I guess when you were a brother your attitude didn’t matter;
pussy just flocked to you.

The way it was
probably flocking to Cutter right now.

My stomach turned
at the thought.

The door swung
open again and a brother I’d never seen before entered. He had a shaved head
and a beard that came down to his neck. He grinned at me then frowned when he spotted
Clause. “Get lost.”

Clause popped the
last piece of burger into his mouth. “What are you doing here?” He plopped down
on the bed next to me, making it clear that he wasn’t planning on going
anywhere anytime soon.

“I’m here to make
sure that everything is all set for later on today.” He looked like he wanted
to strangle Clause. “And that means annoying little pricks like you need to get
lost, this is above your stance in the club, little foot.” The bald brother
grinned, motioning toward the door.

Clause rolled his
eyes. “Actually, Lance, I’m on the rest of the day shift and I can’t leave
until Bark himself tells me it’s okay.” He crossed one of his long legs over
the other.

I recognized
Bark’s name. He was someone they referred to a lot. I wasn’t sure if he was
their Vice President or just someone a hell of a lot higher up than they were.

Lance looked away
with a guilty expression. He’d tried to use intimidation to get Clause to leave
and it hadn’t worked out for him, no one had given him orders to be here or
Clause would have heard about it. He ran one of his thick pale hands over his
head and let out an exasperated wheeze. “Can’t you just be cool for once?”

Clause looked
shocked. “I resent that, I’m always cool.” He shot me a sideways glance. “Aren’t
I, Grace?”

I shrugged. If it
had just been Clause and me I might have some sarcastic dig to shoot back at
him but I didn’t want to say much in front of Lance and I think Clause could
sense that because he didn’t press the matter.

“Then prove it and
get out of here,” Lance growled, letting his eyes travel over to where I lay on
the bed and glancing up and down my body. “I want to get to know our new friend

I moved closer to
Clause on the bed off impulse.

Lance smirked.
“What you only have eyes for our buddy Clause here?” He took a step toward me.
“Is that what you said to my brother the night he got his face stomped in over
you? That you only had the energy to fuck one of them?” He pinched his teeth
together and bit the air roughly. “No one here to stomp me into the ground
though, is there?”

Clause got up from
the bed. “No ones stomping anyone anywhere.” He grabbed another handful of
fries out of the bag and started chomping away on them. “Don’t you have anyone
else to bother?” He shot me a wink, clearly thinking he was funny since I’d
said almost the same thing to him only seconds earlier.

“Don’t you?” Lance
rubbed his hands together. “Go run an errand.”

“No can do, under
strict orders,” Clause said for the second time.

Lance inhaled
deeply and then blew out the air slowly, trying to calm himself down. He shook
his head and licked his lips. “Screw it, he can watch.” He dodged toward the
bed and grabbed me by the legs. “You ready to have some fun?”

I tried to kick at
him as he pulled me toward him, but he had me by the ankles, twisting them
around so far that I was worried my bone might snap. “No!” I screeched, kicking
the air. “No!”

“What the fuck?”
Clause said.

“It’s okay,” Lance
said, laughing evilly. “She means no, don’t stop!” He yanked me down so hard
that my stomach crashed into the bottom of his crotch. “Don’t you, baby?”

“Knock it off,
Lance,” Clause warned. “We have orders.”

Lance shoved one
of his hands up my shirt and started feeling around my chest. “Yeah, but orders
don’t feel as good as these big ole
do.” He
laughed again, sticking his hand all the way inside of my bra and starting to
fish around for my nipple.

I tried to
struggle but even with just one hand to hold me down he was still way stronger
than me. His hands felt foreign and wrong on my skin, like they were a disease
my body was trying to fight off and I guess in a way they were. His fingers
were freezing inside of my bra; he found my nipple and tugged on it real hard.
“Clause! Help me! Please!” I begged.

Lance flicked my nipple
and moaned. “Mm, don’t worry, baby, those nipples will be hard in no time.” He
grabbed my boob so hard that I screamed out, causing him to laugh harder.
“Yeah, you know you want it, baby!” He pulled his hand out of my shirt and
shoved it between my legs. “Get that fat pussy ready for me.” He rubbed back
and forth over my slit through my jeans. “Mm, you really are a little fucking
slut, aren’t you?”

Clause yanked him
off me, shoving him across the room. “Alright, alright, that’s enough.” His
eyes were wide, his features dark. “What the hell, man? That’s not part of the

Plan? What plan? I
took the opportunity to put as much space between Lance and myself as possible.
I pulled my shirt down tight and pressed my legs together, hiding my most
private asset from his view.

Lance pushed
himself up off the wall forcefully. “The plan fucking sucks! It’s been weeks
and everyone is still waiting around like idiots.” He shot me a suggestive
look. “Besides this plan is much more fun.”

“It may be stupid
but that’s not our call to make.” He lowered his voice, trying to remind Lance
of his loyalties. “There are protocols and chains of command to follow here.”

Lance’s eyes were
empty, dead of any emotion. “Chains of command? Why should she sit here all
this time just so the mighty president can be the first one to stick
up inside of her? He has enough whores to pick from,
this one is just sitting here, ready and waiting.”

“We both know it’s
not that black and white,” Clause told his brother.

“Actually, it is.”
Lance moved toward the bed again. “Come on, no one will ever know. It’s not
like the bitch is going to say anything and even if she did, who would believe
her?” He puckered his lips up and gave me an air kiss. “Everyone knows cunts

“It’s not going to
happen,” Clause told him. “I think you should leave.”

Lance looked at
Clause like he’d lost his damn mind. “It’s not going to happen? It’s not going
to happen?” He moved closer to him, digging his eyes into his face. “Do you
have any idea who I am compared to you? You do what I say, so fall the fuck in
line.” He pressed his nose up against Clause’s face. “Now I’m going to make
this real easy for you, I’m fucking the shit out of this little slut now and
you can either join me or get the fuck out.”

He swung around
and marched back over to the bed, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me up.
“Get on your fucking knees, now.” He started fiddling with his pant button with
his other hand. “I’m going to teach you what it means to get a real piece of
sausage for breakfast.” He laughed loudly. “I hope you don’t have a gag

“That’s enough!”
Clause screamed and when I looked over a second later I realize that both Lance
and me were looking down the barrel of a gun. “Let her go.”

“You’ve got to be
shitting me,” Lance said. “You aren’t going to use that thing, Clause, who the
hell are you trying to kid?” But the way he let go of my arm told me that he
wasn’t as sure as he sounded.

Clause motioned
for me to move away from Lance with the gun. “Grace, get over here. Lance, you
need to go, you need to go now.” He slid the safety off and kept the gun on
him, trying to show him that he wasn’t going to be backing down.

Lance watched me
move to Clause’s side and paused, turning over the facts in his head. After a
long few moments filled with silence he shook his head. “You’re bluffing.”

Clause moved the
gun an inch and shot at the desk in back of him, sending a shot shooting
straight through the wall and into whatever was on the other side. “I promise
you, I’m not,” he said once the sound of gunfire had died off.

I gasped. Maybe I
should have been used to hearing guns go off by now but I still wasn’t. Each
time I still felt like a bomb was going off somewhere and I’d just missed the
cut off time to disable it.

Lance jolted to
the side, just as thrown off by Clause’s actions as I was. His mouth hung apart
as he gapped at Clause. “You idiot, you’re going to wish you didn’t do that.”
He reached for his waistband.

“I’ll shoot you,
Lance!” Clause said, forcefully. “I don’t want to but I will.”

His tone sent
goose bumps up and down my arms. I was shocked, I really didn’t think Clause
had this type of thing in him but maybe I wasn’t the best judge of character.
Clearly, people kept surprising me.

Lance thought
about it for a few more seconds and then moved his hand away, slowly backing
toward the door as Clause kept his gun pointed on him. “This isn’t cool, bro,
not at all.”

“We have orders,”
Clause said sternly.

“I’m sure we do.”
Lance opened the door and slipped out.

Clause held the
gun out while he crossed the room and slipped the lock over. He glanced out of
the peephole and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, punching in a few
numbers. “You might want to get ready to move, he’ll probably be back. Once
Lance sets his eyes on a girl he usually doesn’t stop until he’s had her.”

“You mean he’s
raped before?” I asked, shock and hurt still flowing in and out of my body. I
was grateful for what Clause had done for me, even if it was only because he
was following orders.

“Well, of course
he has.” Clause punched a few numbers into the screen of his phone. “Didn’t you
see the look on his face? He gets off on that kind of thing.”

“And you still
consider him a brother?” I asked, disgusted.

Clause looked at
my blankly. “You don’t just ditch a brother because he has different beliefs
than you. All of our brothers come from different paths and walks of life.”

“Raping someone
isn’t a belief.” He was starting to make me feel sick.

“Sure, it is. He
believes in taking what he wants.”

I let out a loud
gasp and crossed my arms across my chest. “Why did you even bother saving me in
the first place then?” I threw my hands up in the air. “Why not just let him
have his way with me if it’s just about having a different belief than another

Clause frowned.
“Because I have orders.”

I turned my back
on him and glanced out the window. I couldn’t look at him anymore; he made me
feel like I was going to vomit all over the floor. How could people think that
line of reasoning was okay? I looked down at the buildings below me, filled
with businesses and people of the city. Somewhere out there was Cutter.

Cutter; going
about his business and living his life without me.

Cutter would never
knowingly let this kind of behavior go on in his club.

But Cutter was different;
unlike anyone else I’d ever met.

I ran my fingers
over my dry lips, remembering his touch, the way he tasted me so gently. Or so
roughly, depending on his mood. I’d probably never know what that kind of
tenderness felt like again.

My heart started
to sting as I looked down at the city again.

Yeah, Cutter was
out there somewhere living his life.

I just hoped
wherever he was, he was happy.


Chapter Two



I’d never known
true misery until now. I’d never known true pain until now. I’d never had such
a strong urge to make everyone I came in contact with pay for my despair until

Heather slid a
plate full of eggs, bacon, and toast across the counter of the bar at me. “You
have to at least try and eat, Cutter,” she said when she saw me staring at the
plate. “You haven’t had anything in your stomach in days.” She shot Blaze a
look, hoping he would be of some help.

Instead, Blaze
reached across his already empty plate and grabbed a few pieces of my bacon and
shoving them into his mouth. “Let him starve to death if he wants, more for
me.” He took his fort and dabbed at my eggs forcefully.

I shoved the plate
toward him. “Have it all, I don’t want it.”

Blaze agreed and
started chowing down on it happily.

I reached across
the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniele’s, taking a long swig right out of
the top of the bottle. The only thing I’d been in the mood to drink for days
was alcohol. She’d left me, the only girl I’d ever really cared about had just

When I’d left
Grace alone in the hotel room that night, I’d left to go drinking with Blaze.
Left to go cool down and vent about everything going wrong. He’d calmed me
down, the way he always did, and when I got back to the room Grace was gone and
so was all of her stuff.

I’d searched for
her everywhere but it was like she’d vanished. No cell-phone use, no card
usage, she’d even avoided going home to see her mom, knowing that I would look
for her there.

It had finally hit
her, how crazy my life was, and she wanted no part in it. She’d just up and
left me, knowing that I would do anything to find her and bring her back to me.
Only this time she’d left no trace of where because she didn’t want to be

She wanted to be
alone, away from me forever.

Heather tried to
grab the bottle out of my hand but I was too fast, hugging it to my chest
tightly. She settled on my half eaten plate of food in front of Blaze instead,
taking it away from him and shoving it on the other side of the counter.

“Hey!” Blaze
complained, stabbing at the counter with his fork.

“Would you talk to
him? Please?” Heather hissed.

Blaze banged his
head against the bar. “I have been talking to him! That’s all I’ve been doing
for the last two weeks is talking to him!” He looked at the plate of eggs
longingly. “And every time you get on me about not talking to him I go and talk
to him again! It does no good!” He turned and looked at me, disapproval written
all over his face. “Juts look at him, he’s a mess. He hasn’t eaten or slept in
days.” He reached out and ruffled my messy stubble that had started to grow all
over my face. “He hasn’t even shaved.”

I jolted out of
his grasp and took another swig out of my bottle.

“My boy got his
pride hurt,” Blaze said, grabbing a handful of peanuts off the bar and shoving
them into his mouth. “He’ll bounce back, he just needs a little time.” He
chewed loudly. “This is why I don’t do the whole girlfriend thing, it’s sure to
end badly, it’s like what’s the point? There’s tons of tail out there just
ready and waiting to be banged without any attachment, you feel me?” He
grinned, punching me playfully in the stomach.

Heather and me
stared at him blankly.

“Too soon?” he
asked and then nodded. “Too soon.”

“You repulse me,”
Heather told Blaze. “And it’s not about his pride, idiot, he has a broken
heart.” She grabbed the bowl of peanuts away from Blaze, too. “And my guess is
that wherever Grace is she has one, too.”

Blaze shook his
head. “But she’s the one who left him.”

“He’s right,” I
said. “She left me. Left me all alone.”

“She didn’t leave
you!” Heather told me. “Something clearly happened to her! She wouldn’t have
just left you, she’s obsessed with you!” She grabbed a class and set it on the
bar. “And would you at least use a glass?”

I smashed my hand
down on top of the glass, sending specs flying all over, including my skin.
Heather gasped and tried to make a reach for me but I pushed her off, downing
more Jack and enjoying the sensation of the pain pumping in and out of my
veins. It was nice to, at least, feel something. The feeling of glass in my
skin while blood swam out around the little cuts was my favorite kind of
physical rush besides sex.

And I wasn’t gong
to be having that anytime soon.

“Blaze,” Heather
whispered. “Do something.”

A girl took the
opportunity to come up and swing her arms around the back of Blaze’s neck.
“Hey, baby, do you want to go upstairs and play?” She glanced at me. “I have a
friend for your friend.”


Blaze glanced down
her plunging neckline and shot me a look.

“Have a blast,” I
said, taking another swig. “I’m kind of busy.”

“Hey,” Heather
snapped. “Do you mind? We’re talking here so take a walk.” She looked like she
wanted to bash one of the bottles in her hand over the girl’s head, not that it
surprised me, I was used to my sister being overprotective of me.

“Don’t be rude,
Heather,” Blaze told her, his eyes still on the girl’s chest.

“Yeah, Heather,”
she cooed, pressing herself even harder up against Blaze. “Don’t be rude.” She
ran her hand up and down his chest, tracing his tattoos with her fingertips.

“Then take her out
of here and leave us alone.” Heather said, titling her head to the side. “No
offense but this is kind of a personal conversation, I’m not sure you’d be able
to wrap your little brain around it.”

“Listen,” the girl
snapped. “Is he yours?”

“What?” Heather
asked, taken aback.

“Is he your man,”
the girl asked, motioning up and down Blaze.

“Yeah, Heather,”
Blaze asked her, amused. “Am I yours?”

“I hate you,”
Heather mumbled.

“Then why don’t
you take a walk, bitch?” The girl said, snuggling up against Blaze even more.
“In case you haven’t noticed we’re kind of busy here.” She smiled up at Blaze

But Blaze wasn’t
having it. “Whoa.” He pushed her away. “You can’t just go around calling people
bitches.” He glanced at Heather, who looked like her head was about to explode.
“Especially not girls like Heather.”

“But she is one.”
The girl moved her hand to Blaze’s crotch, trying to distract him by getting
him worked up further sexually. “Come on, daddy, let’s get out of here and I’ll
show you what it’s like to mess with a real woman.” She glanced at Heather.
“Not a little girl.”

I smacked my glass
filled hand down on the wood, causing more blood to emerge. “Blaze,” I growled.
“Would you get this girl away from my fucking sister? Now.” I’d had enough; if
he wanted to fuck her he should go and fuck her. She didn’t need to hang around
throwing low blows at my baby sister. It was bad enough I had one sister I’d
never met. The least I could do was take care of the one I did know.

The girl turned
pale. “Oh, Cutter, I didn’t know she was your sister…”

I growled at

“You should go,”
he said, unwrapping her arms from him.


“Just go,” Blaze
said more sternly.

“Yeah, just go,”
Heather said cutely.

The girl walked
away and Blaze turned on Heather, shaking his head. “Can’t you ever just be
cool for once and help a brother get some? Damn, you would think you were my
girlfriend the way you cock block sometimes.”

I laughed for the
first time in days. The thought of my sister and Blaze dating was funny to me.
The idea that either one of them would be into the other was absurd.

Heather shot me an
annoyed look then grabbed the bottle of beer Blaze was drinking out of his
hand. “Please, don’t flatter yourself, this has nothing to do with you and
everything to do with my brother.”

“Would you stop
taking my shit?” Blaze leaned over the bar and snatched another bottle of beer.
“When are you going to stop giving me such a hard time about every fucking
thing I do, Heather?”

“Oh, like you
don’t do the same thing to me,” she snickered. “Let’s not turn this into a
fight. It’s not about you or me, it’s about him.” She looked at me. “He needs
help snapping out of it and the longer you take to help him do it the longer I
have to go without finding this long lost sister I never knew about until now.”

I deserted my
bottle of Jack and picked up some vodka just for the hell of it. I hated vodka,
it was nasty, but I was in the mood to be sick. Heather had been obsessed with
finding our long lost sister ever since the news broke, demanding I hunt her
down immediately.

I wanted to find
her, too. She was my fucking twin after all.

But everything
else seemed pointless right now.

Everything seemed
like a chore without Grace.

“And the longer I
don’t know where my sister is, the longer I have to deal with THAT walking
around my town every damn day and eating in here three damn times a day.” She
glanced down to the other side of the bar where Krusher was throwing peanuts up
in the air and catching them in his mouth. Some of our club whores surrounded him,
cheering every time he did his dumb trick.

Oh, yes, Krusher
was still here. And, oh, yes, he was still being his normal asshole self. It
annoyed the hell out of me seeing him walk around our town everyday and do
whatever he wanted. He was under our protection. My father had wanted to kill
him on the spot, not giving a damn about my twin, which only made me want to
find her more.

I wasn’t speaking
to my father. He could choke on all his lies like the coward he was as far as I
was concerned. And since my sister had started staying in a room above the bar
like me, I had the feeling that she felt the same way. Well, that and she
cursed him any chance she got.

“Darling,” Krusher
called now to Heather. “Another round for me and my ladies, please.” He took
one last shot and shoved the empty glass toward the brunette sitting on his

Heather rolled her
eyes. “I don’t actually work here, Krusher.”

“Then you better
hurry up to make up for the time it’ll take you to figure out where everything
is.” His eyes fell on the plate of eggs and bacon behind the bar. “Bring me
some of that breakfast while you’re at it.”

“Ugh,” Heather
said. “It’s so early. How can he already be drinking right now?” Then she
glanced at me and backtracked. “Well, you have an excuse, you have a broken

Krusher was
starting to bother me, but not as much as he would have if I weren’t thinking
about Grace all the time. She made it a little hard to think about the
be Green Grove member wondering around my town and
wishing he were one of us.

My sister rounded
the bar and put her hands on my wrist. “Can I see?”

I pulled away from
her. “No, I like the feeling of the pain.”

“Jesus,” Heather
said, looking at Blaze again for help.

Before Blaze had a
chance to compose a proper reaction Krusher was by our side. He threw one hand
around Heather’s shoulder and pulled her closer to him. “Baby, did you not hear
me about those drinks?”

Blaze yanked him
off her in one fast motion, pushing him hard against the bar. “Listen, you
piece of shit, you may have a free pass around here for right now but that
doesn’t mean you get to do whatever the hell you want to the people we care
about.” He glanced around the room. “You have free range on all the club whores
around this place, but her.” He gestured toward Heather. “She’s off limits.” He
backed away from Krusher slowly, still staring him down. “Don’t touch her

Krusher showed the
kind of emotion he always showed whenever someone backed him into a corner and
said something threatening toward him. As in, he showed none at all. I couldn’t
figure out if he was just as fucked up as me and felt nothing or if he was just
really good at not showing any emotion.

He flipped his
light hair back and shot Blaze a grin. “Relax, I’m not after your girl or
sister or whatever the hell it is you call her.” He slumped down on the stool
next to me and padded me on the leg. “Still glum, huh buddy? Cheer up, there’s
plenty of fish in the pond.”

“Its sea,” Heather
corrected him.

“What is?” Krusher
looked puzzled.

“Its there’s
plenty of fish in the sea.”

Krusher raised his
eyebrows at me. “What you really need is to stop spending so much time with
your damn sister and start spending more time with some girls you can actually
stick your dick in if you catch my drift.”

“He would have two
sisters to hang out with if you would stop being such an unbelievably big
asshole and tell us where the hell Cutter’s sister is,” Heather hissed.

Krusher jumped off
the seat next to me. “On that note, I better be off.” He patted me on the back.
“You know how I get when the conversation turns to serious things.

He goes to move
past me and smacks into Ace’s chest.

“Oops sorry,” Ace
said sarcastically, pushing Krusher again.

“Oh, good, the
gangs all here.” Krusher rubbed his shoulder.

“Cutter,” Ace
said. “You got a sec?”

I took another
sip. “No, I’m extremely busy right now.”

A girl cleared her
throat and I glanced at Ace out of the corner of my eye. A tiny girl with brown
eyes and short hair looked up at him like she was staring at the most beautiful
thing she’d ever witnessed. She had a decent rack and a cute face but she
wasn’t Ace’s type, dressed in a loose sweater and cargo pants she was hardly
the kind of chick Ace would be interested in. Clearly, he wanted me to take one
for the team and scare her away so she’d quit bothering him.

Didn’t anyone
understand that I had better things to do?

Like drink away my

“Cutter,” Ace
said, moving toward me and taking the bottle out of my hand. “This is Alexis,
she came here looking for you.” He glanced at the girl again. “She really needs
to talk to you about her sister.”

I went to reach
for the bottle but Ace handed it off to Blaze who handed it off to Heather who
tossed it behind the bar. Ugh, that game had been funny when she’d done it to
Blaze. When she did it to me? Not so much.

I turned my
attention back to the girl. She was staring at Ace’s muscles now like they were
painted on. God, if he didn’t get her out of here soon she was going to start
drooling all over the fucking floor. I shot Ace a frustrated look, he could at
least act like she existed. I’d always thought he was too fucking picky. Sure,
she wasn’t flashy but she was cute enough, he could at least hit it a few times
to make her feel better. I would have.

“Okay, kid, I’ll
bite,” I said looking at her. Up close she was younger than I originally
suspected. Still, she was legal. Ace could be so damn selfish. “What do you
want?” I grabbed a toothpick off the bar and turned it over in my mouth a few
times before spitting it onto the floor.

Alexis stared at
the toothpick with wide eyes.

Krusher watched
her gaze and bent down to pick it up. “Littering is a series offense that is
punishable by law in the form of 90 days in jail or a one thousand dollar
fine.” He shot Alexis a wink and threw the toothpick across the bar where it
landed with a clean thud straight into the garbage.

“None of that is
even true,” Heather said to Krusher.

“Don’t wink at
her,” Ace said to Krusher.

“Why do you spend
so much damn time correcting him?” Blaze asked Heather about Krusher, an
accusing tone in his voice like she had betrayed him. “Why do you care so much
about him?”

Ugh, why the fuck
couldn’t everyone just leave me alone?

snapped, standing up from the bar and shoving the stool across the room with my

The place was
silent, everyone staring at me, but I could have cared less. Now they all
wanted to shut the hell up, after they’d already pushed me to the limit.
“Forget it,” I mumbled, turning around and heading toward the door at the front
of the building.

I needed to get
away from them and everyone else in the world.

“Cutter, wait!”
Ace called.

“Let him go,” I
heard Blaze tell him.

“Grace!” The young
girl called out. “Please, it’s about Grace!”

I stopped in my
tracks and swung around. “Grace?”

And suddenly it
all made sense. That skin tone, those eyes, the way she took a few steps
forward trying to gather up some courage. She even walked like her sister.

“Grace,” Alexis
said. “Grace is my sister and I need your help.”

And for the first
time in two weeks someone had my attention.


Chapter Three



I knew something
bad was about to happen even before Clause turned the T.V. off and snapped his
head around to look at the door. “Did you hear that?” He asked me paranoid. We
both listened for a second and when nothing further came he shook his head. “I
thought I heard something.”

I had, too.

But it was tough
to know since Clause had done this four times since Lance left a few hours
earlier. He was starting to really freak me out. He’d called whoever the heck
was running the show and asked permission to move me, but he hadn’t gotten it.
Whoever it was had assured Clause he would take care of Lance, assured him he
wouldn’t be coming back for a round two.

Clause still
seemed uneasy and it made me uneasy.

“I don’t
understand why you’re so nervous, if your leader said he would handle it, wont
he handle it?” The idea of someone not doing something that whoever was in
charge said in a brotherhood was foreign to me. Cutter would never put up with
something like that.

“You would think,”
Clause said, pulling back the curtain and glancing out the window. “But
sometimes Lance does what he wants no matter what anyone tells him. Finding out
I ran to brothers higher up might just piss him off even more.”

“You mean he
disobeys and lives to talk about it?” I chuckled. “What kind of people do you
have running this club of yours anyway? Sounds to me like they don’t have much
control over the members.”

“Shhh,” Clause
said as he stepped away from the window. “What was that?” He crossed the room
and looked out the peephole into the hallway, stretching his eyes back and
forth to make sure he got every inch possible in the frame.

“I think you’re
being paranoid,” I whispered.

He backed away
from the door and sighed. “Maybe you’re right, I think I’ll call some backup
just to be sure, though.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started
typing in a new number.

He didn’t get far.

The door to the
room was kicked in within seconds and four men charged in out of nowhere. Lance
was the last one in and he slammed the door behind him, a grin on his face.
“Honey, I’m home!”

They had Clause on
the floor within seconds, both of his guns in their hands and his body being
held down by Lance’s three goons. Clause wasn’t pussy enough to look scared but
I knew that he knew this wasn’t going to end good for him. He wasn’t weak and
he wasn’t a pansy but he was outnumbered and four against one would never be a
fair fight. Even for the strongest of men. He shot me a sad half smile, telling
me it was okay.

And for a second I
believed him.

And then the first
blow came.

Straight across
Clause’s head and blood fell to the carpet.

I’d seen a guy
knocked out before, punched hard in the face. But not like this. Never like
this. You would think seeing people murdered in front of me would prepare me
for this scene but it didn’t.

At least when you
shoot someone it’s fast.

This started slow
and I could tell that it was going to end just as slow.

They started by
taking turns digging their boots into his body, each stomp going harder and
harder into his flesh. Lance was the leader, ordering them around about what to
do and when to do it.

Each time Clause
cried out he laughed.

I held myself
together the best I could, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing
me cry but when it neared the end I couldn’t hold back any longer. “NO!” I
screamed out over and over again.

Lance came close
to me and grabbed me by the back of my head. He brought his lips toward his and
kissed me hard on the lips. He brought his fingers up and pried them between my
lips, forcing them open and sticking his tongue inside. He tasted like smoke
and stale burgers, the smell alone made me want to lunge up the contents of my

I tried to push
him off me, but he pushed my hands behind my back.

When he finally
pulled away a second later he grinned, giving me one last lick across my face.
“Damn, slut, you taste fucking good.” He pecked at my lips. “We’re going to
have some fun tonight.”

“Fuck you!” I
screamed, pounding my fists against his chest.

“Oh, you will,” he
said. “Trust me.” He pulled on a fist full of my hair and cracked my head back
around the floor on the other side of the room where Clause was getting his
body smashed into the carpet. “HARDER!” He yelled. “KICK HIM HARDER!”

I could hear some
of his bones cracking loudly.

“Stop! Please!
He’s had enough! He’s had enough!”

“Look at all that
blood,” Lance said. “You see it? And do you hear that? Do you hear him
whimpering like the little bitch he is?” He pushed my head toward Clause
harder, causing my eyes to pop out of my head more. “That’s your fault,” he
hissed. “You did that to him.”

Tears filled my

“How does that
make you feel? To know that because he defended you it’s going to cost him his
life?” He let go of my head a little and threw his head back, laughing loudly.
“Stop,” he called out. “Stop.”

The brothers came
to a holt, listening to their commander and chief.

Lance dragged me
over to Clause. His body was covered with blood; I could barely even make out
his face. He let out a few low moans, probably some of the last things he would
ever say. My heart stung, Lance was right, this was all my fault. I was the one
who’d made the dumb decision to come here in the first place. What had I
thought would happen?

I was such an

The more I thought
I was growing up, the more I stayed the same.

“Now, since this
is your fault, you’re going to be the one to finish him off,” Lance whispered
in my ear. “I want you to be the one who gives him the last blow, the last
person he’s going to see before he goes to hell is you. The last thing he’s
going to hear is the sound of your voice as he takes his last breath, the woman
who ended his life.” Lance sounded happy, he was taking pleasure in watching me
cry, taking satisfaction in blaming this whole thing on me.

I forged out of
Lance’s grasp and threw myself down next to Clause’s body, running my hands all
over his fucked up face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I whispered over and over
again. I was getting his blood all over me but I didn’t care, I was too upset
to care about anything other than him.

Hours before he
had been my least favorite of Green Grove’s members and now, now I just wanted
him to be okay because the truth was none of the other brothers who had been
watching me over the past few weeks would have done what he had. None of them
would have stood up to Lance like that, none of them would have gotten him out
of here and off of me. No, they would have looked the other way. They would
have let him have his way with me.

Lance grabbed me
and yanked me back up toward my feet. “Okay, okay, that’s enough with the
dramatics, girl.” He shook my body back and forth like a plastic toy. “Let’s
just get on with it.” He padded my leg hard. “Step on him right here,” he said
pointing to the center of his own forehead as an example. “As hard as you can
until I tell you to stop.”

I shook my head.
“I can’t, I can’t. I won’t.”

Lance kissed me
again. “You can do it, baby, and you will. And then,” he whispered, pressing
his hand hard into the small of my back and running it up and down the skin
inside of my shirt. “Then we’re going to go over to that bed and you’re going
to give me the ride of my life.” He backed away and waved his hands around the
THEIR LIVES ONE BY ONE!” He screamed out loudly.

Cheers and hollers
erupted all over the room.

closer to me and tore my shirt down the middle, revealing my bra and shoving
his hand over one of my boobs. “I PROMISE YOU THEY’RE REAL!”

Hoots and hollers
rang out around me.

“Yeah, Lance!
Let’s nail the slut!”

“Take that bra

“Show us her

“Look at the
fucking slut enjoying this!”

Lance laughed the
harder I tried to fight and gave me another deep kiss; this one was really wet
and hungry. He was getting worse, more aggressive, he wanted me and he wanted
me more than he had before.

“I promise you she
tastes as sweet as pineapple,” he said to the others when he pulled away from
me. “But first thing is first.” He shoved me toward Clause again. “Do what the
fuck I told you to do and finish the pussy off.”

I looked down at
Clause whimpering and knew right away I couldn’t do it. There was no way I was
going to let them think that any part of this was okay with me. I’d rather die
myself than help them kill someone who had only been kind to me. I didn’t care
what they did to me, nothing could be worse than the pain I was feeling by
being away from Cutter anyway.

I spun away from
Clause’s body and spit directly in Lance’s face and then made a run for the
door. I actually made it all the way there but the handle was locked when I
tried to jiggle it open. The only way to open it was with a key, a key that I
didn’t have.

I tried to kick it
open but only managed to get a few blows out before Lance had his paws on me
again, dragging me backward and throwing my body down on the floor hard.

He dug my spit out
of his eye and looked down at me, chuckling. “Oh, you’re going to wish you
didn’t do that.” He motioned for his brothers to move forward, closing in on
me. “Whoever makes the bitch cry the loudest gets a special reward at the end.”

And then the
beating began.


Chapter Four



Grace’s little
sister sat at the bar, a diet coke and a bowl of peanuts in front of her. She
kept turning the straw paper over in her hands over and over again. Half of the
time she was sneaking glances at me, curious about the man who her sister
belonged to. The other half of the time, she was sneaking glances at Ace;
curious about the man she couldn’t seem to get out of her head. Not that he
seemed to notice.

“So,” she said slowly,
picking up a peanut then setting it back down a second later. “You and my
sister are like… a couple or something like that?” She looked me up and down
with an unsure expression on her face.

I didn’t really
blame her for being skeptical; I wasn’t exactly looking my best these days. I
ran my hands over the untrimmed stubble on my face and half smiled. “Yeah, or
something like that.”

She glanced around
the bar, taking it all in. “And these people are all your… your… your biker
army?” She practically choked on her words, her nerves taking over for a final

Ace chuckled from
the other side of me and Alexis turned red.

She was definitely
Grace’s sister.

“These are my
brothers,” I corrected her.

“Right, but you’re
like their leader?”

I shifted the way I
did every time anyone brought up my status in the club. It wasn’t something
that you were supposed to willingly talk about with any outsiders. Especially
ones who were as innocent as Grace’s sister.

“Yeah,” Blaze
said. “He is.” He put his hand on my shoulder, coming to my rescue the way he
always did when something happened that I might get uncomfortable or lose my
cool about.

Krusher huffed.
“Well, he’s not all of our leaders.”

“And not all of
you are my brothers,” I growled back.

Krusher laughed,
unoffended as always.

“Then you have to
help me!” Alexis cried, tugging on my arm. “You have to help me find my sister!
I think the police have taken her away and locked her up!”

Suddenly, she was
brave and wild, jumping off her stool and tugging at me like I was the big
brother she had never had. “Please, Cutter, something is really wrong with her,
I know it.” Tears started filling up her eyes. “She’s in danger, I can feel

I glanced at Blaze
and Ace for a little help.

“I can feel it,
too!” Heather cried out before either of them had a chance to react. “I’ve been
feeling it for weeks just like you have!” My little sister said to Grace’s.
“What we need to do is take matters into our own hands, hold a protest down at
the police station! We’ll see how long they want to keep her once the local
news gets involved.”

Oh, for fucks

Alexis’s eyes grew
wide. “You really think that’s necessary?”

“Of course, it
isn’t necessary!” I told her. Great, just what I needed, another little sister
that Heather was able to get just as worked up about nonsense as she was. “A
little help here?” I asked, glancing at Blaze.

“On it,” Blaze
said, picking Heather up by her elbows and pushing her toward the back door,
the way he always did whenever she put her nose in our business and started
talking nonsense about things she knew nothing about.

“Alexis,” I said,
pulling her attention away from my insane little sister. “I really appreciate
the fact that you were willing to come down here and talk to me. Trust me, I
do, I know that couldn’t have been an easy decision to make. But, the thing is
that I don’t think your sister wants to be found. She’s shut off all
communication with the outside world.” I looked away from her eyes, the eyes
that reminded me too much of Grace.

“That’s one of the
reasons I know something is wrong!” Alexis grabbed a hold of my sleeve again.
“She wouldn’t do that, she would have at least said goodbye! I know her! It’s
always just been me and her ever since… well, since I could remember.”

I picked up a
random bottle of beer and started drinking, suddenly feeling more miserable
than before. Like I didn’t feel like a big enough piece of shit as it was. Now,
I had to worry about breaking up her family, too. “I’m sorry I can’t help you.”

I could feel Ace
tense up beside me in disapproval.

Krusher let out a
low whistle and looked away.

“What?” I snapped
at them, taking another swig of my beer. “What do you want me to do? I’m the
damn reason she took off in the first place. Nothing I can do can help her.”
Who the hell were they to judge me, anyway? They knew nothing about what the
fuck I was feeling right now.

Or what I had been
feeling for weeks.

“But you aren’t!”
Alexis pleaded. “I don’t know what went wrong with the two of you but I know
that if Grace was trying to let go of something she would come home to do it,
she wouldn’t just go off on her own.”

I shook my head.
“That was before she met me.” I looked down at her huge eyes, begging me for
help, any kind of help. “I changed the way she looked at things. I changed the
way she looked at the world.” I ran my fingers back and forth over my throbbing
temple. “Like I said, I can’t help you. Please, just…” I trailed off. “Just go

“Won’t you even
try?” Alexis whispered. “I’m sorry, it’s just, everything is such a mess at
home. My mom barely sleeps she’s so worried, and that cop keeps showing up,
demanding to know where Grace is. He won’t stop and it’s just, it’s making
everything worse. I know that I’m just some kid to you, but please, can’t you
even try?”

I could feel Blaze
next to me, having handled Grace. And suddenly I was very aware of all three of
their sets of eyes on me, studying my every move and twitch. Blaze, Ace, and
somehow Krusher were trying to be my voice of reason.

“Of course, he
will try,”
said from next to me, sitting up.

“Yeah,” Blaze
nodded. “Someone told me a long time ago that if you can still try then it’s
never really over.” He nudged his shoulder into mine, using my own words of
advice against me.

“Great!” Alexis
squealed. “Thank you!”

“No!” I said
forcefully. “NO!” I glared at Blaze. “I said no! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!” I
growled at her, not caring anymore that she was Grace’s sister because the
truth was having her here just added to my pain. The cops didn’t have Grace,
that didn’t even make any sense. And neither did anyone else. Grace was gone
because she wanted to be. That was something that I had to deal with, and the
sooner her sister started to deal with it, too, the better off she would be.

Alexis sighed.
“Fine! I’ll go, but I’m telling you that I need your help and if you care about
my sister at all then that should mean something to you.” She placed a small
white card on the bar. “This is my number, I’ll be in church this afternoon,
but you can call me anytime after three.”

Ace chuckled at
her church comment.

It had been a long
time since Ace believed in anything.

I was starting to
feel the same way.

“Please,” Alexis
said one last time before she turned around and walked out of the door. I
listened to her footsteps leave the building and closed my eyes, imagining how
Grace would react if she had known her sister had come to me for help and I’d
turned her away.

My brothers and
Krusher were silent, all of them probably thinking the same things that I was.
I could live without Grace but I would be a nightmare and if there was a
chance, even a little one, that she still wanted me the way I wanted her then
didn’t I have to fight for it?

I didn’t care
about the dumb deal she’d made with my father, I didn’t care that he was an
asshole who manipulated everyone around him to get whatever the hell he wanted.
I would protect Grace until the very last breath if it came down to it.

“Anyone feel like
going to pay a visit to a douchebag cop?” I sighed.

Ace grinned. “Hell

“That a boy!”
Blaze said, shoving me in the shoulder the way he always did when he was proud
of me. “I knew you’d come around!” He ruffled my already messy hair like I was
his little brother who’d just hit his first home run. Or gotten a taste of his
first pussy.

“I’m in,” Krusher
said, dropping the bag of chips he’d starting to munch on. “Causing some bodily
harm to cops is my favorite kind of bodily harm to cause.” He grinned with a
newfound glisten in his eye.

Blaze and Ace
glared at me.

“Sure,” I
shrugged. “I mean
you can do whatever you want,
right?” I got up from my spot at the bar and grabbed my leather jacket off the
stool next to me, swinging it over my shoulders. “You’re the one who’s in
charge around here, Krusher, what with all the secrets you keep.”

“Great!” Krusher
said, ignoring the digs about my twin. “Let’s get moving then! Where I come
from we spend less time talking about the shit we do and actually do it!” He
grabbed his own jacket and headed toward the front door like he was the one
calling the shots.

I rolled my eyes
and vowed to deal with him once and for all once I figured this shit out with
Grace. Blaze huffed and puffed next to me, complaining. I threw my hand over
his shoulder the same way he had done to me only seconds before and grinned.
“That a boy!”

“Real cute,” he

Twenty minutes
later we were in front of the cops house that had been hanging around Grace’s
house looking for her and bothering her family. I’d had his address since the
first day he stopped over but I was under the impression that it had been an
isolated incident, one that involved him leaving them alone for good after. It
was a scare tactic cops used sometimes, showing up somewhere one time just so
that they could scare someone into thinking they were in trouble and find out
what they knew.

I swung the front
door open and threw my legs down onto the pavement, I wasn’t in the mood to
drag this bullshit out, I was too pissed off for that. I took each step toward
the front of his house like I was on my way to an execution that I’d been waiting
years to see and I couldn’t be a fraction of a second late.

“This seems well
planned out,” Blaze said from next to me.

Ace laughed.
“Yeah, not our best home invasion.”

“Plan?” Krusher
asked. “What plan? The plan is that we pound down the door, get in there, and
beat the shit out of this pig.” He scoffed. “There’s no plan they say.”

Blaze sighed. “I’m
so glad Krusher acts like he’s part of our crew now.”

“For real,” Ace
said. “Don’t you have your own band of brothers you should be taking care of?”
He dodged past Krusher so that he’d be the last one through the door.

All three of them
sounded like echoes to me, like distant voices somewhere playing in the back of
my mind. “Can all of you shut the hell up so that we can get this over with?”

I dodged up the
front porch and kicked in the door as hard as I could. The side of the wood
cracked loudly and the door caved in easily. I drew my gun and entered the
front hallway forcefully.

A few children and
a woman were in the living room, they started screaming and running in all
different directions when they saw me. “Ace,” I demanded. “Do something with
the kids.”

“On it,” Ace said,
taking off after them.

I heard footsteps
flying around rapidly above us and motioned for Blaze to follow me, Krusher
followed even though I didn’t motion for him to do shit. I took the steps up
two at a time, not wanting to waste any time. The longer I took to get up
there, the more chance there was that he would find and pull his weapon. Or put
a call into his family in blue.

We checked the
first two rooms with no luck and then found the great detective in the third,
fishing under his mattress for what I could only assume was his gun.

“Don’t you even
fucking think about it,” Krusher barked. He had produced a huge gun out of
nowhere and had it aimed right at the cop’s head. “Step back! STEP THE FUCK

For the first time
since we had taken Krusher that night I could see the leader in him. His voice
was hard and demanding, challenging anyone to disobey him. He had a wild look
in his eyes, one that looked red with rage and had zero sympathy.

The cop backed
away from the bed, holding his hand up in the air. “Who are you? What do you
want?” He pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked back and forth between
the three of us and then realization crossed his face. “Wait a minute, I know
you!” he said, looking between Blaze and me. “I know both of you!” He tried to
run past us, panic setting into his bones. “MY CHILDREN! PLEASE, MY WIFE!”

Krusher knocked
him backward with the top of his gun. “
kids are
fine and they’ll stay that way as long as you behave yourself.” He backed up
toward the door, glancing up and down the hall to keep look out.

I wasn’t in the
mood to talk. I kicked the piece of shit in the stomach instead, causing his
body to fall from hallway down on his knees to all the way down. Next, I took
my head and pistol-whipped him across his fucking head. Light red blood started
zooming out of him. I sniffed the air, enjoying the stench of his veins
splattering out all around him. I hit him again and there was more oozing. His
blood was light, too light, like no one else I’d ever hurt before.

“Okay, okay,” he
cried out, covering his face with his hands. “You have my attention, you have
my attention. What do you want? You want money is that it? I don’t keep much in
the house but I have some! I have something!” He pleaded, looking up at me.

Krusher snickered
from the hallway. “Money we have.”

“Then what? What
do you want?” His eyes darted back and forth between the three of us then
paused on Krusher again. “Aren’t you wanted?” he stuttered. “Isn’t there a
warrant out for your arrest?”