livingforthemomentf

Mature Men 2: Living for the Moment

©2014 Marilyn Lee

All rights reserved

Marilyn Lee Unleashed

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. All service marks, registered trademarks, and registered service marks are the property of their respective owners and are used herein for identification purposes only.

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 Chapter One

 

Sherlyn Drake

 

Just when you think life isn't fair and only a few randomly chosen people get to enjoy a happy ever after, something good happens to change your mind. After months spent watching my best friend Amber Hunt-Darkwater break her heart over the handsome John Reddorn, who wanted unprotected sex without a commitment, I ached for her. And because I knew how she felt, I reluctantly accompanied her oldest brother Thomas Darkwater to her apartment. He had come up with the not so bright idea of the three of us having dinner together in an effort to cheer her up when it looked like Am's relationship with John was hopeless.

Anyone looking at Darkwater would wonder how any single, emotionally unattached woman could possibly be reluctant to spend a few hours in his company. Like John, he was a tall, attractive, and charming Native American male. While John had made his fortune on Wall Street, Darkwater's wealth came from the sale of the internet startup business he'd cofounded with his brothers. At forty years old, he had it all: looks, money, and a never-ending bevy of skinny ass blondes eager to be his ho of the month.

So why should a thick, average looking woman like me not want to spend time with him? Well, we had history. It was long and miserable and accounted for how harsh and jealous my assessment of his women must sound. It had taken years of struggle but I'd finally managed to put my feelings for Darkwater firmly in the past and I wanted to keep them there—buried and hidden too deep to ever be resurrected.

Had I known he had other ideas, I would have found another way to support Am. However, I didn't know and in agreeing, I set myself up to be hurt again.

I've heard it said confession is good for the soul. Here's mine. When I say we had a history, I actually mean I had one. I'd fallen hard for him the moment I first saw him over fifteen years earlier. He'd never given much indication that he even knew I existed. That is until recently when he'd started to invite me to join him and Amber for various dinners.

After years of hoping and praying that the too sexy Darkwater would notice me, three years earlier, I'd slipped on a patch of ice on my way to work in Center City Philadelphia. Stumbling forward, I literally fell into the arms of the big, attractive man who dropped his briefcase and hurried forward to keep me from landing face first on the slippery sidewalk.

His attempt to keep us both on our feet was successful. However, as I clutched at his shoulder with my left hand, while my feet continued to slide on the ice, my right hand slipped and brushed between his legs. My relief at having my fall broken was mitigated when he cleared his throat.

I looked up into the dark, warm brown gaze of a man who reminded me of one of my favorite actors, Sidney Poitier.

He cleared his throat again.

That's when I realized I cupped the cock lying along his thigh.

I jerked my hand away so violently, I nearly lost my balance and he spent the next few seconds keeping us both from falling.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered when he finally released me.

"I'm not." His dark gaze made a swift inspection of me. "You can touch me intimately anytime you like."

I stared at him, my heart beating a sweet rhythm of attraction.

He smiled and extended his big hand. "Don Jordon."

"Sherlyn Drake," I said and placed my hand in his. When his fingers closed around mine, I felt a tingle from my head down to my toes. I looked into his eyes and fell hard.

He told me later that he had too. We had our first date three days later when he returned from a business trip. At the end of the evening when he swept me into his arms, I clung to him and we kissed until I couldn't breathe and I felt his cock pressed against my body. Three weeks later, after six dates, we spent our first night together. When I felt his big, hard shaft sliding into me for the first time, I knew I wanted to be his woman. And his alone.

He was a wonderful, passionate lover who knew how to make my body cry out for release and then gave me a climax that shook me to my core. During that first night of bliss when I felt no desire or need to close my eyes and pretend I was with Darkwater, he branded me as his and I knew I was in love.

Meeting and falling for Don changed my life in a wonderful way. The tender nights I spent in his arms were liberating in many ways. I happily shed my sexual shyness and fully embraced the sensuality I'd sometimes felt was better suited for the pretty, thin women of the world. He rocked my emotional world and lit up my nights with a passion that made me ache to be his in every sense of the word.

With Don, I discovered the joy of belonging to a man who couldn't keep his hands off me. We explored every aspect of my newly released sexual inhibitions. We'd meet during the day and have a quickie any place we could find a dark, secluded corner—even if people were in the vicinity. Once, while stuck on the interstate for hours after a multiple car accident during a snowstorm, we had sex twice in his SUV.

After the second time, we'd barely scrambled back into our clothes before a state trooper walked up to the vehicle to see if we were all right. Although I'd found the experience exhilarating, that had been our first and only time making love in his SUV.

Still, I gave myself fully to him. Nearly anything he wanted to try, I willingly participated in. I denied him nothing except my anal virginity, which I planned to surrender on our wedding night.

Happy and secure in the knowledge that I was loved and adored just as I was, any feelings I'd had for Darkwater dissipated under the magical charm of falling in love with my very own sexy ebony knight.

Don swept me off my feet and into a fairytale world where I was the princess and he was my Prince Charming. For the first time in my adult life, Darkwater no longer commanded my emotional attention or my heart. I was free to love and I loved Don dearly.

Within four months of falling into his arms, Don and I spent a glorious week in Bermuda. On our last night, he proposed during a candlelit dinner. I accepted through a flood of happy tears. Later in our room, we spent part of the night making tender love and the other part fucking wildly.

When we returned home, Amber gave a party to introduce Don to our friends. It was a wonderful night, until the awkward moment when I came face to face with Darkwater.

Wearing a dark shirt and pants under a cream-colored jacket, he looked breathtakingly attractive.

"Darkwater," I moistened my lips.

He looked at my engagement ring and inhaled slowly. "So it's true. You're getting married."

"Yes," I nodded, wondering why he didn't have his usual blonde in tow. I was also surprised that he felt the need to ask the question when he could clearly see the ring on my finger.

"Am said you were, but I—"

"But you what?"

He shook his head. "Congratulations, Sherlyn."

Despite the clear lack of warmth in his voice and his dark gaze, the sight of him shook me. When he took my hand in his and leaned down to kiss my cheek, my nostrils filled with his cologne. I'd always loved whatever he wore. I was shocked and dismayed to feel the old longing struggling to break free. For one wild moment, I wanted to turn my head, press my lips against his mouth, and kiss him until I couldn't breathe.

Almost as if he knew what I wanted, he lifted his head slightly and locked his gaze on my lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Confused by the question, I swallowed hard, uncertain what I saw in his gaze or what he might see in mine. Then I felt Don's presence at my side and I shook the remnants of desire for Darkwater free. He was my past. Don was my future. Moving back to lean against Don's big body, I removed my hand from his and turned to look at Don who smiled down at me before turning to face Darkwater again.

"Darkwater, this is my fiancé, Don Jordon," I said. "Don, this is Am's oldest brother, Thomas Darkwater."

They shook hands.

"You're a lucky man, Don," I was surprised to hear Darkwater say. He actually sounded as if he meant it.

Don nodded. "Yes, I know." He slipped his arm around my waist and hugged me close. "It was a lucky day for me when she slipped on that patch of ice and right into my waiting arms." He paused before going on in a decisive tone of voice. "Just so you know, she's mine now."

Darkwater's jaw clenched. "So I see," he said in a cool voice. 

"And I'm keeping her."

"I'm sure you are."

I frowned, confused by the sudden tension I sensed between the two men.

Darkwater glanced at me. "I hope you'll be happy, Sherlyn." He nodded at Don and walked away.

I stared after him, unable to look away until Don turned me to face him. "Was there something between you two?"

I blinked. "Romantic? No. I'm surprised at his presence considering he's always behaved as if he didn't know I existed."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. He's into skinny blondes."

"He seemed a little jealous."

"Jealous? Oh, no."

"No? Well, when he said I was a lucky man, I think he really meant it."

"Why shouldn't he? He's known me since I was sixteen. He probably thinks of me as another sister."

Don shook his head. "I didn't get brother vibes from him, Sher."

"What do you mean?"

"I got the feeling he didn't like me because…"

I shared his belief that Darkwater had taken an instant dislike to him but I wasn't sure why. "Because what?"

"I don't think he feels like your brother."

"I'm sure he does," I said.

"Well, maybe I'm just jealous and afraid of losing you."

"That is not going to happen, Don," I assured him. "I've never been as happy as I am with you. Never."

He smiled and caressed my cheek. "I'm glad to hear that, but I need to know. Were you into him?"

I sighed and nodded. "It shows, huh?"

"Yes. It does. The vibes between the two of you were pretty strong."

"He was my first love," I admitted.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And were you his, Sher?"

"Definitely not. Any vibes you felt were the remnants of the ones that were always only on my side."

"Are you sure about that?"

Recalling all the hurt of knowing I was in love with a man who would never love me, I nodded. "Yes. I am. Tonight was the first time he's even held my hand or kissed my cheek. He's never touched me before. There has never been anything between us on his side."

"So I don't need to be concerned about any lingering tenderness between you two?"

"No because there is none. Granted, I was crazy in love with him. Still, you don't need to be concerned because you came along and cured me of the craziness of imagining I wanted him. Well, I did want him, but I want and need you. And any lingering feelings I had for him vanished the first time you made love to me."

"So it's over for you? And you're mine body and soul?"

"Oh, yes, Don. I admit seeing him threw me a little, but I am definitely yours…heart, mind, body, and soul."

"Good because I love you, Sherlyn Drake."

"And I love you, Don Jordan." I smiled up at him, linking my arms around his neck. "I'm looking forward to being your wife and the mother of your babies."

"Can't wait to get started," he said and bent his head to kiss me.

I lost myself in the joy of his kisses. When we came up for air, I saw Darkwater glancing in our direction before he abruptly turned and walked out of the room. Watching his departure, I felt…nothing in particular. Wonderful. I turned to Don and slipped my arm through his. "Oh, I love you," I said happily.

For that night and weeks later, I basked in the glow of Don's love and never gave Darkwater another thought. A happy future of having Don's babies, growing old with him, and of course living happily ever after stretched before me.

Finally, after years of unhappiness loving Darkwater, I had it all: an attractive, successful man who loved me, nights filled with passion, and a wedding to look forward to. But that rosy future wasn't to be mine. Two months before our wedding Don suffered a massive heart attack. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, leaving me heartbroken and almost inconsolable. In the miserable weeks and months that followed, my friends help keep me sane and refused to allow me to sink into despair. Darkwater spent a small fortune on flowers sending me an elaborate and lovely arrangement of multi-colored roses each week for well over a year until I'd asked Am to ask him to stop. That's how he and I communicated—through Am.

Then he'd paid for Amber and me to vacation for four weeks overseas twice a year until I'd asked her to ask him to stop that as well.

After the sharp, painful grief of losing Don subsided to a dull, manageable ache, I felt almost desperately hopeless, lonely and depressed. Still, I was determined not to fall for Darkwater again. To ensure that didn't happen, I avoided being in his company whenever I could. Since he did the same thing, we hadn't seen each other in well over two years.

Imagine my unease and chagrin when the evening that we were supposed to spend with Amber turned into an awkward twosome. Just after Darkwater and I walked into her lobby to find her waiting, John arrived.

 Then, as I looked on in surprise, in front of everyone in the lobby, John admitted he was in love with Amber. And just like that, an evening I was already dreading seemed destined to turn into a nightmare.

Don't get me wrong, I was delighted that Amber had finally reeled John's big ass in. In fact, I left her lobby at Darkwater's side, feeling great. Then I glanced at him and found him looking at me with a wary look in his dark eyes that could only mean one thing. He was searching for a graceful way to avoid spending the evening alone with me.

After a moment, I was pleased to realize the idea didn't hurt or even sting as much as it once would have. Yes, I still found him as sexy as I ever had, but I was over his big, attractive ass at last. While my lust was still actively engaged, my heart was not. "Can we make a stop on the way back to my place?" I asked.

He nodded and we walked back to his car in silence. He opened the door and waited until I'd slipped inside before walking around to the driver's side.

I watched him. He just oozed sexiness from every pore. Once seated in the car beside me he started the engine but didn't immediately drive away.

His hands on the steering wheel drew my gaze. I've always had a thing for a man's hands. His were big with long fingers. Oh, the days and nights I'd spent fantasizing about having his hands caressing my bare flesh…my breasts…my belly…my pus—

"Hello. Anybody home?"

I suddenly realized he was speaking. Dragging my gaze from his hands, I looked at him. "I'm sorry. My mind wondered."

He nodded. "So I noticed."

"What were you saying?"

"Where do you want to stop?"

"There's a restaurant five blocks from my place."

He frowned. "Why do you want to go there?"

"For dinner," I said.
Duh.

"We have reservations."

I blinked. "What?"

"We have reservations for dinner already," he said. "If you want something to take back for tomorrow, you can order it before we leave."

"Oh. You mean you still want to go out to dinner?"

He arched a brow. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well…I thought…"

"Yes? What did you think?"

It was my turn to give him a wary look. "Well, you know."

He nodded slowly. "Actually, I think I do. You thought that I was looking for a way to get out of taking you to dinner?"

Nonplussed at how easily he'd read me, I nodded. "Yes. Aren't you?"

"No." He drove off without another word.

Chapter Two

 

Sherlyn

 

Certain Darkwater dreaded the coming hours as much as I did, I tried again to give him an out. "I'd understand if you were," I said.

"Thanks, but since I'm not looking for a way out of spending the evening with you, I won't require your understanding," he said coolly.

I frowned. If he hadn't been looking for a graceful way out of dinner alone with me, why did he sound so annoyed? I wasn't sure but damn if I were going to walk on eggshells with him all night. "Then what exactly is your problem, Darkwater?"

"I'm not aware that I have one, Drake," he replied in a cool voice.

"Trust me. You do have a problem and I have no desire to spend the evening on the receiving end of your attitude."

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't have an attitude."

"Please take me home."

"Take you home?" He pulled the car over, put it in park, and turned to look at me. "What's your problem?"

"I don't have one," I said, annoyed that he was trying to turn the tables on me.

He studied me for several, long silent moments that felt like endless minutes.

My thoughts were chaotic.
What did he think of me? Why had he spent years dating countless women who never remained in his life for more than a few weeks? Why the hell hadn't he ever given me a chance to win his attention?

"What exactly do you want from me, Sherlyn? Tell me. I might be in the mood to give it to you."

I felt my face burn. Clearly, he knew of my past attraction to him. Nevertheless, past was the operative word. "I don't want anything from you," I said coolly. "You're the one who asked Am to ask me to join the two of you for dinner."

"Yes I did. And you agreed."

"Yes I did."

"So?"

"So I agreed, but only after she pushed for me to change my mind after I'd already refused," I pointed out.

"Why did she need to push you to come?"

He sounded surprised. The vain bastard. "Because I am so over my school girl crush on you it might never have happened." Surprisingly, I felt a large measure of relief finally having admitted to him that I had crushed on him. Well, I'd done a lot more than crush on him but that was all I was prepared to admit to; at least to him.

"Really? School girl crush was it?"

I inhaled slowly. "Okay. College girl crush. Satisfied?"

"Not really."

What the hell did that mean? "Too bad. Either way, it's ancient history."

"You're only thirty-one. How can anything with you be termed ancient history?"

Disbelief and amusement filled his voice. Damn him. "It's ancient history," I said firmly. "So don't go flattering yourself into thinking I want to jump your bones!"

He was silent for several minutes before speaking again. "Are you okay?"

The sudden softness in his tone confused me. "Am I okay? What do you mean?"

"I know you were in love with Don."

"Oh, yes," I said, feeling a brief rush of sadness at the renewed knowledge that I would never see him again.

He sighed. "I'm sure it still hurts, but I'm asking if the pain of his death has dissipated so that it's now at least manageable."

The unexpected concern I heard in his voice touched me and reminded me that although he'd only accompanied Amber to visit me once after Don's death, he'd sent those countless roses and spent tens of thousands of dollars on vacations for us. Yes, he could easily afford everything he'd done, but he hadn't had to do it.

I softened towards him. "Sometimes it still hurts, but yes I've learned to deal with it. It's manageable."

"Are you sure?"

Although I still had two pictures of Don in my apartment, I'd long since given up clutching them to my breast and crying myself to sleep. Don wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in grief and I'd done my best to move on. "Yes. Thanks for asking."

"Good. So I'd be flattering myself if I thought you might still be interested in me?"

"Yes, you would."

"Really? I doubt that."

Damn his overabundance of self-confidence. "I don't care what you doubt, Darkwater. It's a fact. I'm over you. Have been for years."

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you so let's get it out of the way and move on with the evening."

I frowned. "Get what out of the way?"

"This."

"What?"

He released his seatbelt, shifted in his seat, and turned to look at me. Suddenly the interior of the car seemed to shrink alarmingly.

Meeting his dark gaze, memories of the first time I'd seen him assailed my senses. At Amber's seventeenth birthday pool party, he'd worn a pair of white swimming trunks that showcased his big, muscular body. Back then, his long, dark brown hair extended past his broad shoulders and cascaded over his big chest. To my sixteen-year-old eyes, he was the most perfect man I'd ever seen—even in the presence of his four brothers. Although most of Am's other friends considered the younger Darkwater brothers far more attractive, I'd only ever had eyes for him.

When he'd turned to smile at me after giving Am her present, I fell into instant teenage lust that later turned into a twelve-year struggle not to fall deeper in love with him each time I saw him. He went out of his way to ensure I didn't see him nearly as much as I would have liked. Oh the pitiful years I spent just living for the times I'd get to see him—no matter how briefly.

No. No. Shake it off. Shake it off now. You are not going back to the days when you loved him and had nothing to show for it but misery and hopelessness.
I tore my gaze from his and stared out the windshield, trying to will him to move back into his own damn space and stop sucking all the oxygen out of the air.

"This," he said softly, turned my face to his and brushed his warm lips against mine.

Although I experienced an immediate jolt of pleasure, I jerked away from him, pressing back against my seat. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sure we both know what I'm doing but in case you're having some difficulty figuring it out, let me try it again."

I tensed. If he actually kissed me, he might manage to dredge up the feelings that had died when I fell in love with Don.
And you are not going back to that sorry state again.
"No."

"Yes." He brushed his lips against my ear. "This is long overdue between us."

"No," I said again, with even less conviction in my voice.

He's not a man to take no for an answer. "We're overdue for this and my patience is exhausted." Slipping a hand behind my head, he leaned closer and pressed his mouth against mine in a slow, hot kiss.

Oh…God! A knot of heat coiled in my belly. As it quickly rushed through me, I felt the ache of the old yearning for him struggling to return. I wanted to push him away. I returned his kiss instead.

Within seconds, I felt his tongue cajoling my lips apart.

Unable to resist a desire so long denied, I lost myself in the heated kisses and eager caresses that followed. Although I've never been a fan of giving it up too easily, I made no protests when I felt his fingers sliding down from my neck to cup and massage my breasts.

My nipples hardened in response and my stomach muscles clenched. I was in a mental fog. Was this really happening? Or was I lost in another fantasy?

All doubt was removed when, still burning my lips with feverish kisses, he deftly unbuttoned my blouse.

I trembled.

Feeling his big hands touching and caressing my cleavage made my pussy pulse. I'd never had sex in a vehicle with anyone but Don and I wanted to keep it that way. Didn't I?
Stop him. Push him away or you'll find yourself back in the same miserable state you were in before you met Don. Stop him.
Instead of listening to the screaming voice of reason, eager for the ultimate intimacy, I arched into him.

Dragging his lips from mine, he quickly undid my bra and freed my breasts.

I caught my breath and waited.

His warm, insistent lips caressed my neck before he licked a path down to my breasts.

Oh…yes!

After tonguing and kissing each nipple, he sucked the right one between his lips.

Oh, lord that felt good! Cupping my hands over the back of his head, I moaned softly to encourage him to continue his sweet attention.

Transferring his lips to my other breast, he slid his hand down my body and up the hem of my dress. Then…oh hell…I felt his fingers pushing aside my panties.

I shifted to make it easier for him to reach my heated passage.

He stroked and probed the outline of my slit before rubbing his thumb on my clit.

Oh, damn. Oh, damn. He set me on fire. As my pussy flooded and I realized I wanted him to fuck me then and there, I finally came to my senses.

I gasped, dragged my mouth from his, and reached down to push his hand away.

Leaning forward to recapture my lips, he resisted my efforts to dislodge his hand from my panties and actually stroked two fingers deep inside me.

For several gloriously insane moments, I rocked my hips, actually fucking myself on his thrusting fingers.

He pulled my tongue into his mouth, sucked it, and rubbed his thumb against my clit again.

And oh God. I hadn't felt a man's fingers inside me in well over two long, lonely years. To have Darkwater's hand there was beyond sweet. I shuddered and moaned.

He released my tongue and kissed a path to my ear. "That's right, sweet. Come for me. Let yourself go and come for me."

Incapable of doing anything else, I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from crying out and came over his fingers.

He leaned close to kiss my neck. "Feel better?"

I did but I also felt embarrassed by what had just happened and where it had happened. When Don and I had been intimate in his SUV, we'd made love because we were in love. What had just happened with Darkwater had nothing to do with love. I pushed against his shoulders, renewing my efforts to dislodge his still probing fingers from my flooded pussy.

He continued thrusting inside me and rubbing against my clit.

Lord, his fingers were going to be a creamy mess and I would be an emotional wreck if I weren't careful. If he didn't stop, I might come again. "Darkwater! Please. Move your hand."

"Why? I like it just where it's at." He nipped my neck. "You like it there too. Don't you, sweet?"

Like didn't begin to cover the depth of my feelings at that moment. However, we were on a public street, not a dimly lit interstate. This had to stop. I shoved against his shoulders. "Please!"

When he finally removed his fingers, he gave my engorged clit another rubbing from his thumb that nearly made me come again.

"Oooh." I moaned.

Smiling, he sat back in his seat.

I took a deep breath. What the fuck! How dare he treat me like some whore off the street, pawing my pussy when anyone walking past might have seen me moaning and coming like a damned alley cat in heat?

"What do you take me for?" I demanded, struggling to refasten my bra and blouse.

"Here. Let me do that." He brushed my fingers away, leaned in for another quick kiss and sucked each of my nipples, and then calmly refastened my bra and blouse.

"I don't know what you take me for—"

"Don't you? Then I'll tell you. I take you for a woman with very sweet, kissable lips and rather large, natural breasts," he said. "Damn, Sherlyn. Your breasts are large and natural. Do you have any idea how rare natural breasts are these days?"

"All the women I know have their own breasts." Well, all but one. "You must have been dating the wrong type of women," I said, trying to get my emotions under control and my resolve back on track.

He laughed. "So Am's been telling me."

"And you did more than just kiss me," I reminded him.

He smiled.

"You had your fingers inside me!"
And you made me come
.

"So I did." He licked the fingers he'd slipped inside me before he turned to look at me. "Hmm. I like the way you taste when you've been sexually satisfied."

And I liked the way his fingers had felt thrusting inside and satisfying me. But I said nothing.

"I'll bet I'll like the way you feel even more."

I blushed and my stomach muscles clenched. "Don't hold your breath waiting to find out."

"Don't worry. I won't. However, just so there's no misunderstanding, if given the chance, I'll have more than my fingers inside you."

Oh God. Just the thought nearly made me wet.

"And if you think you enjoyed my fingers…"

My heart raced at his words.
You cannot allow him anywhere near your bare pussy again.
I shook my head. "Who spiked your water?"

He turned to lock his gaze on me. "Do I have to have drunk spiked water to like the idea of sex with you?"

What I wouldn't have given to hear that question when I was so in love with him, it hurt just to see him smile at another woman. And on the rare occasions when we were in the same place, at the same time, he was forever smiling at strange women who couldn't possibly want him as much as I did. "You never have before," I reminded him.

"Says who?"

I frowned. "Me."
The woman on the receiving end of your countless years of cool indifference.

"And how would you know how I felt or what I did or didn't want?"

"I just do."

"Are you sure about that?"

After twelve long years of yearning for crumbs of his attention that he consistently denied me while raining them down on every skinny blond he stumbled across? "Yes I am."

"Why are you sure? Because I never acted on any interest I might have felt before now?"

I blinked. "Now you must think I've been drinking spiked water too. You've never been interested."

"Haven't I? Not even occasionally?"

"Not even occasionally. Not ever."

"And if I tell you that I might have been? Then what?"

"I wouldn't believe you, Darkwater."

"What do you mean you wouldn't believe me?"

"I wouldn't."

"Why the hell would I lie about it, Sherlyn?"

I parted my lips.

He held up a hand. "And before you imply that I might lie to land you in bed, we both know that wouldn't have been necessary then or now."

I blushed and said nothing. First, he fingered me to orgasm on a public street and now he wanted to make me feel bad? What had I ever seen in this guy worth loving besides his big, to die for masculine body and killer smile, and dark, sexy eyes?

Almost as if he sensed what I was feeling, he spoke in a softened voice. "I apologize. I shouldn't have said that."

"Then why did you?"

"Your pretending to know things about me you don't pissed me off," he admitted. "Not to mention your practically calling me a liar to my face when I've never lied to you."

He'd spoken to me so rarely there had been no occasion to lie. "If you were so damned interested why didn't you ever…"

"Why didn't I ever what?"

Tell me…hold me…kiss me…fuck me.
"Why didn't you ever give any indication of it?"

He sighed. "I had my reasons."

"Such as?"

"In case you've forgotten, when we first met you were sixteen. I was twenty-five."

"And didn't even know I was alive."

He shrugged. "I would have been a sorry excuse for a grown man had I harbored a sexual interest in a sixteen-year-old girl."

I couldn't deny that. "Okay. Fine. And when I was twenty and older?"

"You're my sister's best friend. She'd have hated me had I…"

"Had you what?"

"Had I acted on any interest or feelings I might have felt and you ended up hurt."

I did end up hurt, you big jerk. I hurt for twelve long, damned years while you pretended I didn't exist. Now you expect me to believe you had any interest in me at all.
"Honestly, Darkwater, I can't see you allowing something like that to stand in your way had you really been interested."

"You think you know me well enough to make that statement?"

I knew he was uncaring of my feelings for him and always had been. I nodded.

"You don't know me at all, Sherlyn."

"If I don't, that's because you never let me know you when I wanted to." When I ached to know you.

"When you wanted to? What does that mean?"

"It means the time when I wanted to know you is long past."

"Damn." He inhaled slowly and shook his head. "You sound as if you mean that."

I nodded. "I do."

"I know you're pissed, but are you sure about that?"

"I'm positive."

"I see. Well, never mind the past. This is a new day," he said and started the engine.

I studied his profile. "Where are you taking me?" I asked in a tight voice I struggled to keep from rising.

"No need to panic, Sherlyn. I'm taking you to dinner."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"We have reservations. Remember? We've had them for nearly a week. And now that we've gotten the kiss out of the way, you won't have to spend the rest of the night wondering if I plan to kiss you when I take you home."

"I wasn't wondering any such thing." And I hadn't been because I'd never imagined he would kiss my cheek again. Forget those blistering kisses and thrusting his fingers uninvited into my pussy and making me come.

He shrugged. "All right. Then I won't have to wonder if you were wondering about it. Now we both know what's going to happen when I take you home."

We do?
"What?"

"I'm sure you heard me. By the way, are you on birth control?"

"That's none of your concern," I said after a moment of stunned silence.

"Actually, it is because when I take you home, I plan to thrust something a lot bigger and harder than my fingers inside you."

"What?"

"You're starting to sound like an echo chamber."

"What?"

He turned to look in my eyes.

I stared back, feeling my heartbeat quickening again. At this rate, I'd be hyperventilating soon.

"Apparently, I haven't made myself clear. So let me do that now. Just so there's absolutely no misunderstanding between us, when I take you home, I'm going to fuck you."

My heart thumped. "You're going to what?"

"I'm going to fuck you," he said again. "All damn night long."

Oh God. His words created a maelstrom of conflicting emotions in me. "You are not putting your fingers back inside me," I said, even as I ached with desire at the thought of him doing just that.

"It's not my fingers you need to worry about when we're alone again," he said calmly and merged into traffic.

Chapter Three

 

Sherlyn

 

The rest of the evening was surreal—at least for me. Darkwater behaved as if he hadn't fingered me to a climax in the car and hadn't declared his intention to fuck me all night long.

At the restaurant, we ordered and made small talk while waiting for our first course. While I nibbled at my food, he ate his with every sign of enjoyment. Each time I looked up, I found his dark gaze locked on me but he kept the conversation on impersonal topics.

After coffee, he pushed his cup away and looked across the table at me. "Would you like to dance?"

After the way he'd thrust his fingers into my pussy, there was no way I was going to slow dance with him in public. I shook my head. "No thanks."

"I would."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't."

He rose and stood at my side with his hand extended. "I want to dance with you."

I shook my head again.

He stood there in silence with his hand extended until I finally placed mine in his.

"Let's dance," he said and urged me to my feet.

Despite my best efforts not to surrender to my old feelings for him, walking hand in hand with him to the dance floor was more than nice. It felt almost magical.

When he stopped and drew me into his arms for the first time, a well of emotion and yearning overwhelmed me. Until I'd met and fallen in love with Don, I'd spent twelve long, lonely years fantasizing about such a moment with Darkwater without any expectation of those wild dreams ever becoming reality.

Now, when I least expected it and didn't want it to happen, it was. I struggled to suppress a shudder at the thought of suffering through a long, intimate dance with him when I had no intensions of allowing any further intimacy from him. But I'd worked myself up for nothing. During our two slow dances, he kept his hands above my waist and didn't grind against me.

In fact, he behaved so matter-of-factly that I'd almost convinced myself that I'd daydreamed that scene in his car. By the time we left the restaurant, I no longer felt tense. Back in his car, he asked about my job as a programmer. Of course, we weren't in the same league, but I was flattered that a man whose computer skills had made him a multi-millionaire even deigned to discuss programming with me. I relaxed further.

His casual manner lasted right up to the moment we stood inside my apartment saying good night. At least I thought we were saying good night. "Thanks. I had a nice time," I said and offered him my hand.

"So did I," he said but made no effort to shake hands.

"Well, good. I'm glad because I did too." Realizing I was in danger of babbling like an idiot, I shut up and waited for him to leave so I could breathe again.

"And now let's have an even nicer one, Sherlyn."

"What?"

He smiled. "There's that echo chamber going on again. When did you first realize you were losing your hearing and have you seen a doctor?"

On the verge of babbling
what
again, I pressed my lips together. Looking up into his dark gaze I found it impossible not to recall and relish those too delicious minutes in his car when he had taken complete possession of my pussy and my desire and made me come on his fingers.

Don't. Don't think of that sweet madness or you're going to be lost.
I sucked in a quick breath and silently begged him,
Leave now. Please. Go before you make me do something I don't want to do and take me to a place I no longer want to be.

Instead, he took my hand in his and drew me close to his big body and into a warm, close embrace.

Oh…God. I bit my lip and shook my head. "Darkwater—"

"Shh. I told you what was going to happen when I bought you home."

"There's a picture of Don in my bedroom," I said in an effort to derail his obvious desire. "On my nightstand."

He frowned. "There is?"

I nodded.

"I thought you said—"

"His picture is on my nightstand," I warned.

He inhaled slowly before shrugging. "Lucky Don. I hope he's not easily embarrassed at what he's going to see me do to you tonight." He brushed his lips against my cheek. "Or rather what we're going to do to each other."

"Darkwater…" When I looked up at him, he bent his head.

I closed my eyes and turned away from his lips. They brushed my cheek instead of my mouth.

"No, sweet. It's too late to stop what's going to happen," he said and slid the tip of his tongue along my ear lobe.

He might as well have sent a surge of electricity through me.

I shivered and blindly turned my mouth towards his.

"That's it," he whispered. "I need you to want this as much as I do."

No longer able to pretend that I didn't want him to fuck me, I slipped my arms around him and tilted my chin.

The moment his lips touched mine, I knew one of my wildest daydreams was about to come true. Still, afraid of getting hurt again, I briefly considered pushing him away but that just was not a viable option—not after years of yearning for the smallest sign of sexual interest from him. Now I had his attention and I finally admitted that I'd never wanted it more.

I knew the coming intimacy would mean nothing to him. I'd just be another in a long line of women eager to be his latest ho. I knew it and I didn't care. Because although I wanted him as much as I ever had, I was no longer in love with him. I didn't need or require him to pretend to feelings he didn't possess.

I was aroused and just wanted to live for the moment and have him fuck me until my knees buckled and all I could think about was making him come. The need driving me was strictly carnal. I wanted sex from him instead of something I suspected he was incapable of giving: at least to me—love.

Stay focus on getting the sexual satisfaction you need and nothing else and you'll come out of this night with a fuck to remember but with your heart unscathed.
I burrowed close and kissed his firm, warm lips with a slow passion that was all the sweeter for having been so long denied.

As he deepened the kiss and thrust his tongue between my lips, I rocked my hips against his and moaned. "Darkwater…"

He slid his hands around my body to cup my ass and pull me tight against his groin.

None of my wildest fantasies had prepared me for what I felt at that moment. Lord what a wonderful sensation to feel the outline of his cock and to know it would soon be sliding inside me.