tears on my pillow 2






Tears On My Pillow 2


Elle Welch

Copyright © 2015 Elle Welch


Published by Write House Publishing under TIECE Presents

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without prior written consent of the publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.


This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to the real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely coincidental.



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          Solomon, I just want to thank you for all the time you spend talking with me about my characters. All the text messages, inboxes, and e mails do not go unnoticed and I couldn't do this without you. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me to new heights. I love you my King.

              Endia I am so proud of you and the young lady you have become. I want to let you know that I appreciate you taking time out of your busy college schedule to read my books and give me feed back. It keeps me focused and moving forward. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. I love you baby girl keep making me proud.

               La'Shan thank you so much for editing this! You are the best and made my review so easy.

               Tiece I would first like to thank you for allowing me to grow and have a say so in my brand. I also want to thank you for being in my corner and letting me know that as long as I am reaching for the stars you will be right there helping me to reach them. You're the best publisher ever!

               Brittiani Williams thank you for these hot covers you keep providing me with. If you keep it up there might be a Tears On My Pillow 13!

               Elizabeth Venable thank you for being the best promoter ever! You don't play! I would go in a group to post and have to leave cause you done beat me to it! I love that and so appreciate it!

                Ebony Smith thank you for that talk we had when I was writing I Never Said I Was A Good Girl part 1. I will never forget it. It has helped me more than you will ever know. I can't start writing a book now without saying now remember what Eb said! 

               I also want to give a shout out to some of my pen sisters that I know I can hit them up at any time if I need help or have a question about something. You guys are some of my biggest Cheerleaders and I definitely appreciate it: Margaret Flack, Sherene Holly Caine, and Kellz Kimberly I love y'all!

                Now you know I can't forget to mention some of my ride or die readers. You guys have been rocking with me since my first book dropped and I appreciate all of you! La'Shan Michele, Elizabeth Venable, Earline Hamell, Shekie Johnson, Javauna Perry, Kristina McCladdie, Chyna Funkhouser, Helinszi Martin, LaTanya Williams, Endia Jones, Solomon Welch, Kenyetta Miles and so many more! Please if you don't see your name please don't be upset blame it on my memory and not my heart!

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Check out my I Never Said I Was A Good Girl series. Parts 1, 2 and 3 are available on Amazon now!

January 24, 2014



                   I sit there in shock for a moment as I process the words that just came out of Qia’s mouth. Why in the world would she think that she loves Chandler? What the fuck is going on here? She had more of a reaction to him than she did to me, even after I told her that I am her husband. This nigga really gonna make me act up. He standing there grinning like this shit is cute. I love my brother and all, but he better act like he got some got damn sense. As I am finally able to regain my composure, I say, “Qia, that’s my brother and your brother-in-law, Chandler. I’m your husband, remember?” I attempt to grab her hand and she snatches it away from me, just like she did the last time I tried to hold it.

                  She looks at me and I can tell that I don’t mean shit to her in this moment. It’s like I am looking at my wife but at the same time, she is someone totally different. She says, “I heard you the first time you said that.” Her voice sounds scratchy and is going in and out. I watch her face for a few moments, trying to figure out why she feels a connection with Chan but nothing with me.

                She turns her head back towards Chandler and her facial expression automatically changes. It is a look of love and happiness. She looks as if she is genuinely pleased with the fact that he is here.             

Chandler looks at me and walks over to the other side of Qia’s bed. He looks down at her and says, “You scared the hell out of me! I didn’t know what to do when J told me you were in a car accident. I am so happy you’re okay. I don’t know what I would do without my right hand.” He bends down to hug her. She wraps her arms around him tightly and they embrace. Honestly, they hug for much longer and with much more affection than I am comfortable with.

                   “I was in an accident?” Qia asks.

                  “Yes! Ahh man, I’m so glad you’re alright. I love you. I was so worried,” he says, shaking his head like he’s trying to hold back some tears or some shit.

                   “Chandler,” I say through clenched teeth.

                   “What?” he replies, still hugging my wife.

“I need you out in the hall for a minute, bruh.” I turn and walk to the door.

                   Chandler finally breaks his embrace with Qia and says to her, “I will be right back.” I am trying to keep my emotions in check but my brother is really trying my patience right now. Why is he reassuring her that he will be back?

                   Surprisingly, Qia replies, “Make sure you do because I want to talk to you.”

                  “I promise,” Chandler says as he walks towards me.

                  We both step out into the hallway. I walk across the hall to the other side, so that we wouldn’t be right in front of Qia’s door. I wait for the door to completely close behind Chandler. He seems like he is irritated with me taking him away from Qia. So now, he acting antsy and is trying to rush back to her. “What do you want? Why did we need to step out here?” he asks, showing his irritation.

                   “Chan, I know that you are happy Qia is okay, but I don’t need you coming down here and confusing her.”

                 The look on his face is now one of total confusion. “Jakari, what are you talking about?”

                 “I know you heard how confused she is. She talking bout she thinks she fuckin love you!” My voice begins to boom but I manage to bring it back down.

                “I don’t know why you are getting all excited, trippin and shit! She does love me! We have been best friends for over half our lives, nigga!”

                I sigh, trying to keep calm. I am not sure why this dude is getting all excited. He is getting under my skin acting like Qia is his damn wife. “I don’t know why you keep feeling the need to remind me that she is your best friend. I should be the one reminding you that she is my WIFE! I know I have let you slide over the years with how close you are with my wife, but now is not the time for this shit. I am only going to tell you this one time and this one time only, so back the fuck up!”

                 Chandler is standing there looking at me like he is really concentrating on not snapping, but if he knows what I know, he will lose some of that vigor and quick. I begin to speak again and manage to use a much calmer tone, “Chan, she doesn’t remember me, us, or our marriage. I need to get her to focus and right now, you seem like a distraction. Just give us some space so we can try to put our lives back together.”

                 He opens his mouth to speak but at that exact moment, we hear people coming down the hall. I turn around and see that it is Monique, Qia’s mother, and all of Qia’s sisters.  I notice at the last minute that her dad is behind all of them. I turn around to greet everyone but to my surprise, Chandler speeds away and goes back into Qia’s room.

              “How is she?” Monique asks.

              “She has improved. She is awake, and they have removed the ventilator and feeding tube. The issue is that she doesn’t remember anything or anyone right now.”

              “What? Nothing? No one?” Qisha blurts out as if she may be happy about it. I look at her sideways, knowing that she is excited because this means Qia doesn’t remember catching us screwing, but damn, she need to press her chill button. She must have read the expression on my face because she says, “I’m sorry, it is just shocking to think that she won’t remember us or anything that has happened in her life.”

Bitch, I understand that you are trying to cover up your excitement but
I think to myself while giving her a blank stare. I shake my head and reply, “She remembers nothing right now and the doctor doesn’t know when that will change. He is supposed to be coming in to talk to us in a little while. The only suggestion he has for now is that we talk to her and try to help jog her memory.”

              “Lord, let me go see my baby.” The girls and Qia’s dad follow her lead.

“Qia baby. I’m your mother,” Monique says as she steps into the room.

                 Qia is looking at Monique and I can tell she is trying with all her might to remember who she is. After studying her for a few moments, she finally says, “I’m so sorry. I just don’t remember you. I don’t remember anything.”

                 She drops her head down, and the tears begin to fall and her sniffling can be heard throughout the room. “Oh baby girl, it’s okay, just give it some time.” Monique leans over the side of the bed, and hugs her daughter and rubs her back. “You just need to relax chile and give it to God. I’m telling you that is when your memory will start to come back.”

                Qia’s dad, Reverend Reynolds, steps up to the opposite side of Qia’s bed and says, “We are all here for you, Q. Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see my favorite girl crying.”

                My wife looks over at her dad with tears streaming down her cheeks and studies his face. “So, I guess you’re my dad?”

                “Your one and only,” Reverend Reynolds looks down into his daughter’s eyes and says.

                  “I figured that because your slanted eyes look so familiar.” She smiles up at him.

                I take this opportunity to jump in. “That’s because they are just like yours honey.” I smile at her, hoping she can feel the love I am sending her.

                 I guess I miss the mark because Qia looks at me and gives me the coldest smile ever. Her lips don’t even part. Her eyes are emotionless. She quickly looks away from me and focuses her attention on her sisters. They are huddled up at the foot of her hospital bed. “And who are you beautiful ladies?”

                 “Well, I am your sister Qimora,” Qimora says, pointing to herself. She then turns to Qiana and puts her hand on her left shoulder, indicating that it is her turn to introduce herself.

                “Hi sis. I’m your other sister, Qiana. I’m the oldest out of all us girls.”

                Qiana smiles lovingly at Qia and turns to look at Qisha, who is standing there looking guilty as sin. She tries to smile but she is too nervous to pull it off because her lips are quivering. “I’m your baby sister, Qisha.” She speaks so low; I am surprised Qia was able to hear her.

                 Chandler steps up from behind the girls and hands Qia a Kleenex, so she can wipe her face. “Thank you. It’s Chandler, right?”

                 Chandler nods his head yes and flashes his big ass fucking teeth at my wife. He ain’t gonna be happy until I slam his ass and knock out a couple of them big ass motherfuckers.
How much you gonna flash them bitches then
, I think to myself while trying to hold my composure. Now, he gotta play Mr. Muhfuckin Helpful!

                 “You have a gorgeous smile, Chandler,” Qia says as she finishes wiping her face.

                “Thank you,” he replies.

              I can see that something catches Qia’s attention. She tilts her head and I follow her gaze. I realize she is looking at Qisha. She is standing way off to the side, damn near in the corner of the room, biting on her nails. “Qisha, don’t be so nervous. I’m sure if I relax like mom says, I’ll remember you real soon.”

                My heart stops mid beat. I know that at this point, Qia doesn’t remember anything that happened from the afternoon that she had the accident, but it is so creepy the way she seems to focus on Qisha. However, Qisha is making it easy for people to notice her, the way her ass is acting. Qisha’s blue eyes buck, and she looks at me and then looks back at Qia before she runs out of the room. I shake my head like, this bitch gonna get us caught as sure as my ass is black.

                 Everyone is looking around at each other trying to figure out what the hell Qisha’s problem is. Except for me, of course. Qiana rolls her eyes and says, “She just extra all the freakin time! Anybody know or even care what that is about?”

                Everyone shrugs, indicating that they don’t have the slightest clue. Qia, on the other hand, turns to me. “Jakari, can you go check on my sister, please?”

                 “Ah oooooo...kaaaaay. I’ll be right back.” What the fuck? Why did she have to ask me to go check on her? I step out the room and look around for Qisha’s suspicious acting ass.

January 24, 2014



                It feels so weird to not remember anything. I look around at this room full of people and I wonder what our relationships were like before the accident. I don’t have the slightest clue but I know they do. I wonder if they will be honest with me, while trying to help me remember, or will they make up what they want me to know?

                 The only people, for some reason, that I feel a strong connection to is the lady that says she is my mother, my dad, and Chandler. Jakari, the man that is supposed to be my husband, just makes me feel pissed off, for some reason. My sisters, I don’t feel any way towards them at all. I do, however, feel bad for Qisha. I wonder if she and I were really close before this happened because she seems to be taking it really hard.

                 The room is really quiet and everyone seems like they are in their own world, so I decide to break the silence. “So, are you two married?” I ask, looking back and forth between my parents.

My mother looks at my father and he shakes his head no. “We were never married, baby girl.”

                Right when my dad finishes that sentence, the doctor walks in followed by Qisha and Jakari. “Oh Qia, I see you have a full house! I just want to step in and let you know that we are still assessing the data we have collected. I am not sure when you will be able to go home, but I would plan to be here for a few more days, while we determine what type of amnesia you are suffering from.”

                My mother asks, “Do you think that she will regain her memories, doctor?”

                “I don’t like to speculate before I have all the necessary information, so I will have to place that response on hold for a couple of days. However, I would like to suggest that everyone take it easy and let us do our jobs.”

                 “Okay, Doctor. We will do just that,” my father says.

              “You folks have a good night and Qia, I will see you tomorrow,” the doctor says as he exits the room.

                 “Qisha, are you okay boo?” I ask my sister.

                “I’m…I’m okay. Just got a lot going on. Sorry for the outburst,” she replies while fixing her hair and dabbing her eyes with a piece of tissue.

                 One of my other sister’s, I think she said her name is Qiana, mumbles something under her breath about a Darrin. “Who is Darrin?” I ask.

                Qiana looks surprised that I heard her but she answers me anyway. “He is Qisha’s no good boyfriend.”

                 Qisha snaps her head in Qiana’s direction. “Girl, this is not the freakin time to be ragging on Darrin! Mind your fuckin business please.” The rolling motion of her neck lets me know that tensions are flaring.

                “Qiana and Qisha! I swear, y’all are pissing me off! Your sister just came out of a two-week coma and you two want to argue over Darrin. Stop!” Monique yells, pointing her finger at each of the girls. “Have you guys not learned anything from Qia’s accident? Life is too short girls! Too damn short to be arguing with each other like that all the time.”

                 I jump in because I really didn’t mean to start an argument. I am just trying to get to know everyone again and fishing for information, hoping that it will lead me back to my memories. “I didn’t mean to get everyone upset. I’m sorry, please forget I asked that.” 

                “It’s not your fault, Qia. Those two are always at each other’s throats,” Qimora says, giving me a reassuring smile.

                I smile back at her and admire her ebony colored skin. “I love your hair! It looks really pretty on you. What is the name of that style?”

                 She says, “Thank you, these are referred to as Bantu Knots. You were the one who said they would look good on me!” and moves towards me with her arms outstretched. We hug, and she kisses me on the forehead before stepping back from the bed a little. I could really feel the love radiating from her as we embraced and it makes me feel good, like I am surrounded by people who love me and would never hurt me.

                “I know I was in a car accident but does anyone know the details? Where was I going or coming from?” I ask and scan the room. The room falls silent as everyone turns to look at Jakari.

                Jakari looks up and his eyes dart all around the room before landing on me. “You were on your way home from work. It was snowing pretty bad so it is understandable that you lost control of the vehicle on those slippery roads.”

                 “So, there wasn’t anyone else involved? No one was killed or hurt because of me?” I ask with tears welling up in my eyes.

                 “No baby. You were in a single car accident. No one else was involved,” Jakari says, walking up to the bed and putting his hand on my leg.

                 “Qia, baby, I have to get down to the church. I am hosting a bible study this evening. I want to say a prayer before I go though. I am so thankful that you are okay,” my dad says as he grabs my hand. “Come on everyone. Gather around and hold hands. Bow your heads, please, for a moment of thanks.”

                My dad finishes with the prayer and everyone decides they are going to leave and let me rest up with the promise of coming back tomorrow. Once the room clears out, Jakari sits on the side of the bed and says, “I am so glad to have you back, baby.”

                “Jakari, I am really tired and I just want to get some rest, so you can go now,” I say, and wait for him to get up and leave.

                “Qia, honey, I wouldn’t leave you here alone. I am going to stay here with you until they release you,” he says looking lost.

              “I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I don’t want you to stay here with me. I want this time alone,” I say as I readjust myself in the bed. I realize at that moment how sore my legs feel. I assume because I hadn’t really been using them for two weeks. I wince a little from the pain and Jakari jumps up.

                “Baby, you okay? What’s wrong? You need something?”

                 “I am fine. My legs are just stiff. The only thing I need is for you to go home and get some rest.”

                He looks really puzzled but decides to obey my wish. I allow him to kiss me on my forehead and realize that the only thing I feel towards him is a strong sexual connection. In the back of my mind though, I feel like I am mad at him or upset with him about something but honestly, I have no idea what that could be. It is like the anger is blocking the love I have for him. I watch him put on his coat and walk out the door before I lean back into the pillows and try to wrap my mind around not being able to recall anything about my life.

January 29, 2014



                 It has been five days since Qia woke up out of her coma and to say the least, it has been a draining experience.  I felt we were making progress two days ago when Qia began remembering who everyone was. She still doesn’t remember events, which I thank God for, but she does remember people now. The doctor said she has what is known as retrograde amnesia. He said that she can remember people and other facts but does not remember events that may have happened close to or prior to the time of the accident.

                 I am so happy that she remembers who I am. It makes me feel like our relationship will be back to normal in no time. However, when I talked to her yesterday, it didn’t seem like her remembering who I am did me any good. She really seems like she doesn’t love me the way she did before the accident. It’s like she is trying to keep me at a distance, but I don’t understand why.

                 I mean seriously, if she remembered what had occurred between Qisha and me, then I know she would have mentioned it, so I know she isn’t mad about that. I don’t know what the wall is between us at this point, but I am going to do everything I can to tear it down. The doctor said he doesn’t know if or when her memories will come back and honestly, I hope for my sake, they don’t. We can build new ones as far as I am concerned. I can’t lose my wife and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that I keep her.

                  Qia is scheduled to be released from the hospital in the next couple of days. I have been running around trying to make sure everything is perfect for when she comes home. I had to have the carpet cleaned several times because Qisha had gotten blood all over it trailing from the living room and down both hallways leading up to the main bathroom.

                 My cousin, Jamaal, came by and fixed the dent in the wall that occurred when Qia threw the vase. He did an excellent job, I might add, but got on my nerves with all his nosey ass questions. Eventually, I just told him that Qia and I had a disagreement and I threw something at the wall in frustration. I inspect the wall and even though I knew there was a dent there, I couldn’t see a trace of it at this point, so I am confident Qia won’t detect anything either.

                 I also move all of Qia’s things back into the master bedroom. I mean, for one, I never wanted her to move out of our bedroom and two, how the hell would I explain to her why we were sleeping in separate bedrooms? That would be sure to throw up some immediate red flags.

                 For the past few days since Qia has been awake, I have been trying to replace the coffee table that was shattered during her fight with Qisha. It took some searching but I am able to find another one. I had to pay extra to have the shipping expedited from another location but it is all worth it, as long as Qia doesn’t remember the incident between Qisha and me.

                 The last thing I did is wipe her phone clean. The hospital had given me her phone and other personal belongings the day of the accident but of course, with her being in a coma, I was not worried about her phone. Plus, who knew that when she woke up, God would be giving me another chance because she has amnesia. So, once I discover what a grand opportunity I have been given, I decide wiping her phone is the best option. I didn’t know her password, so I couldn’t snoop and see what was actually on her phone, but I knew of at least one thing I didn’t want her to remember. The picture of Kelly sucking my dick on our honeymoon.

                  It is almost time for my meeting with Azia so I get up off the couch and head to my bedroom to get dressed. Azia called me just like I knew she would. She was crying and begging me to meet with her. I figure this is my opportunity to get her to drop the BS she has going on at the school. I need that part of my nightmare to be over, so that I can concentrate fully on Qia.

                 I shower and put on some blue jeans with my white and navy blue Rosemond University hoodie. I fish my navy blue leather Timberlands out the closet and step into them. I slide my phone into my front pocket and my wallet into one of the back pockets. I grab my keys off the dresser and then walk out the front door.

                 I pull into the parking lot of Frankie and Johnnie’s Pizza on Island Pond Road and survey the area. I spot Azia sitting in her white Nissan Sentra. When she sees me, she gets out of her car and begins to walk towards mine. I take in her round breasts as they pop out of the top of her tight, v cut navy blue shirt and how her pants show the complete outline of her fat pussy. I lick my lips and remember why I am here.

                 I unlock my doors so she can get in. She sits down in the passenger seat and I cut my eyes at her. “Jakari, I know you’re pissed. You have every right to be but I want to start by thanking you for meeting with me.”

                 “Whatever,” I say, still grilling her with my green eyes. “What the fuck do you want? Right now, it seems like you’re wasting my time.”

                  “We need to talk,” she says, looking at me pleading with her eyes.

                “No, not fucking really. I have absolutely nothing to say to you.”

                  “I’m sorry, J.”

                 “Azia, fuck you and your sorry ass apology. You messed with my lively hood and you did a great deal of damage on my marriage as well. Not to mention, the impact that it had on my relationship with my brother! What is it you need to say because I am good?”

                 “I want you back.”

                 “Bitch, you can’t be serious?!” I shake my head loving every minute of her wallowing.

                 “Jakari, please, just listen. I was desperate. I didn’t know what else to do. After you kicked me out of your house on New Year’s Eve, you totally cut me off and I can’t take it. I will do anything if you will start seeing me again. Please baby. I miss you.” If there was room enough in my car, this bitch would be on her knees, damn near praying to me to take her back. I want to laugh so bad but I need her to tell me that she is going to get the allegations dropped.

                  “So, I’m betting Chandler got this same little speech. Azia, just get out my car. I have things to do.”

                She grabs my arm and I snatch it away. “Jakari, I haven’t spoken to Chandler since the party. I swear. I only messed with him trying to make you choose me over Qia.”

                 “Right. Look, I have to go,” I snap, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

                 “Please, look at me. I know what I did was wrong. Trust me. I have learned my lesson and I know my place. I won’t do anything like that again. I mean hell, I will retract my allegations if you will come back to me!” she suggests, sounding desperate as hell.

I think to myself before turning to look at Azia. I reach over and run my finger down her nose, over her pouty lips, and straight down into her bosom. She closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip. “Oh really? Well, that might just work,” I say and lean over towards her. I place a soft sensual kiss on her lips and nibble on her bottom lip before I lower my mouth to her bosom. I suck on the top of her breasts and then put my tongue between her titties, and slowly glide my tongue up and down her cleavage. Her hands grab the back of my head and I hear her let out a soft moan as her breathing quickens. I lean back into my chair and watch her perky breasts rise and fall. I can see the lust in her eyes and judging by the way she is rubbing her pussy through her pants, it’s a clear sign she is serious and will do whatever to get me back in her bed. “Damn, yo ass want it bad, huh?”

                  She giggles a little before saying, “I not only want it. I crave it.”

                  “Cool, contact me when it is done. Bye.”

                 She sits for a moment as if she is contemplating her next move. “Fuck you soon, Jakari,” she says before opening the door and getting out of my car.

                  I wait for her to pull out of the parking lot before I laugh loudly and drum my fingers on the steering wheel.
Bitches always doing some dumb rash ass shit and then come groveling back trying to fix it.
I knew she would do whatever she had to get the case closed, so now, I just have to wait for Lance to clear me to come back to work. This couldn’t have happened at a better time. I wasn’t going to be able to cover being out of work too much longer since Qia would be home tomorrow. It should be smooth sailing from here on out because I got Azia right where I need her to be.

January 31, 2014



                  I am scared and excited all at the same time about going home. I thought that remembering everyone would make me feel more comfortable but it actually made everything even weirder. I know who Jakari is. Like, I remember that he is my husband but not anything else. I don’t remember how we met or even him proposing to me. The only thing that remains constant is the fact that I feel like there is something big I can’t remember. Time reveals all things, so I will just wait and see what happens over the next few weeks.

                  We pull up to my mother’s house and I see the front door is open. She invited Jakari and me over for dinner to welcome me home. I sit and stare at the house, trying to see if its image would bring anything to mind for me, but at this moment, my mind remains blank. “You ready baby?” Jakari asks from the driver’s seat.

                 “Yes,” I reply and open my door. I step out of the car and start to walk towards the front door. I have been doing therapy in the hospital since I woke up and it has helped a lot, but my legs are still a little stiff, so I am walking much slower than normal. Jakari runs up next to me after locking the car and links his arm with mine as he helps me walk to the door.

                 We barely take five steps when the front door swings open, and my mom rushes out of the house and down the stairs towards me with a ruffled white apron around her waist. She is smiling big and I can see the tears in her eyes as she says screaming, “Won’t He do it! Yes, He will!” She then focuses her eyes on Jakari. “Hi Jakari,” she says.

                  “Hi Monique,” he replies.

                  I return her smile and we hug. “Ma, why are you tearing up? This is supposed to be a joyous occasion!” I say, trying to make sure my voice is upbeat.

                 “I know. I know. I am just so grateful to have my baby back. I was so scared when I saw you in that bed unresponsive. Oh chile!” She shakes her head and pats me on my back.

                 “Ma, please don’t cry. Think about the fact that I am right here right now, hugging you.”

                 She pulls away and holds my hands while she stares at me for few minutes. “C’mon, let’s get in the house. It is freezing out here.”

                  She opens the screen door and we follow her inside. I sit down at the large kitchen table that is covered with a beautiful deep blue tablecloth and situate myself in the chair. “I am going to go in the living room to watch TV. You need anything before I go?” Jakari asks over my shoulder.

                  “No. I’m fine.” I turn my head to the side and smile up at him. He bends down and pecks me on the lips and then exits the kitchen. The food smells absolutely delicious but it is causing my stomach to churn. I cover my mouth with my hand as I pray that my stomach will give me a break.  I jump up and run to the kitchen sink because I can’t remember where the bathroom is and prepare to vomit. As I stand there, I realize that my stomach is calming down and I say a silent thank you to the Man above.

                 “Qia!” My mom yells as she races over to me. “What’s wrong baby?”

                 “I’m okay, ma. My system is still trying to get use to food and smells, so sometimes, it can be a little overwhelming for me.”

                  “Have you talked to the doctors about it?” she asks as she rubs the middle of my back.

                  “They mentioned to me that I may experience some vomiting while my body readjusts, so I’m positive it is nothing to be alarmed about.”

                  “Alright, baby, alright.”

                 I stand there for a minute, just to make sure this bout of nausea has passed.  Just as I begin to feel confident enough to go and sit back down at the table, Qisha walks in. I haven’t seen her since the day I woke up in the hospital, so it makes me wonder why? “Hello Qisha,” I say as she steps into the kitchen.

                 “Hey Qia,” she says, looking stiff as hell. I wonder what our relationship was like before my accident. The way she looked at the hospital and the way she is looking and acting currently, makes me sad because she seems so on edge around me. I hope that things get back to normal soon so we can be close like we used to be. A second later her boyfriend, Darrin, appears in the doorway behind her.

                 He slaps her on the ass, “Bitch, move your wide ass out the way, damn!”

                 “Darrin, quit playing, you see my mother right there!” She turns to him with her face turning red from embarrassment.

He brushes pass her and mumbles, “Monique. Qia,” before disappearing into the living room.

                  I place my hand on my hip and look at Qisha. “Is that how he always acts?”

                 Qisha nervously runs her fingers through her blond hair and says, “Girl, don’t pay him no attention. He doesn’t mean nothin by it.” She smiles at me, trying to take the edge off the situation but I ain’t buying it.

                 Monique turns around. “Qisha, I have raised you girls better than this. I am not going to take his ignorant rude ass stepping up in my house acting like that. Next time you come over here, ya betta be solo because I have had it. He need his ass kicked real good,” my mother says, pointing her finger at Qisha and shaking her head, causing her salt and pepper hair to bounce around the top of her shoulders.

                 I go back to the table and sit down as Qisha rolls her eyes and leans up against the door frame. “I’m sorry I didn’t get down to the hospital much to see you Q but now that you are home, I want us to spend some time together.”

                 “That sounds great Qisha! What do you have in mind?”

                 “I’m not sure but maybe a movie night at my place.”

                 “I would love that!” I say grinning from ear to ear. I am so glad she is reaching out to me.

                 “Let me go check on Darrin,” she says and walks into the living room.

                  “I guess he always shows his behind, huh?” I say to my mother after Qisha is out of the room.

                  My mother looks back over her shoulder while she is bent down in front of the oven, checking on the chicken she has baking in there. “Showing his behind is an understatement. OOOOO weeee, it gets under my skin that she allows him to treat her that way.” Monique closes the oven door with much more force than needed, but I think I can imagine why.

                  “I have tried to talk her into dating Chandler for years but she just isn’t interested in anyone that has their shit together. Chandler is such a gentleman. He would be good for her,” my mother says more to herself than to me.  I get so irritated when she says that. My heart starts to thump out of my chest as I think about Chandler making a life with someone other than me. I feel overwhelmingly sad when I think about him loving someone else. I want so badly to yell, no he’s taken but thankfully, I am able to control myself. I change the subject because I just can’t deal with all of this right now.

                  “Ma, all this food looks scrumptious,” I say as I survey the table and the counter-tops, which are full of food. My mother pulled out all the stops today. She made fresh rolls and biscuits, cabbage, baked chicken, glazed ham, mac and cheese, buttered potatoes, stuffing, a beautifully frosted chocolate cake and she is currently assembling a coconut cake. “I wish I could enjoy all this food but the way my stomach is set up right now.”

                  “Don’t cha worry ya pretty little head. Everything is going to be back to normal shortly, mark my words,” she says and grabs a handful of coconut.

                  “I hope so.” I sit in silence and watch my mom put together her coconut cake. As she shakes grated coconut from her hand, it looks like snowflakes falling from the sky. The coconut begins to cover the cake like snow covering the ground. For some reason, an image of me driving a burnt orange car during a snow storm pops in my head. The vision is so real. I can feel how upset I am as I speed down the snow covered street. I can feel the hot tears as they run down my face and I can sense how sad I am.

                 As I begin to sink further into the overwhelming feeling of sadness, I can faintly hear someone saying “Qia… Qia” which snaps me out of the car and back into my mom’s kitchen. I look towards the voice calling my name and can’t help but to smile when I see Chandler’s grinning face. I jump up and make it over to him as quickly as my legs will allow me to.

                  “Hey Chan,” I squeal like a little school girl. He lifts me up and twirls me around. In that moment, I realize how happy I feel that he is here with me. I get so turned on as I feel my body press up against his warm rock hard frame. When he presses his lips up against my cheek to give me a kiss, my nipples harden, my lady parts jump, and I find myself wishing he would devour my lips with his, instead of kissing me on the cheek.

                 “You know I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!” he says as he sits me back down on my feet.

                  “Hello Chandler. You two are a mess,” my mother turns around long enough to say.

                  “Hi Ma. Thanks for the invite.”

                 “Always son, always.” The fact that my mother calls Chandler son and refers to Jakari by his name, catches my attention. Why does she think of Chandler as a son and not my husband, who is actually her son-in-law? Is there some type of tension between the two of them because of our past? Then she also mentioned she wants Qisha to have a boyfriend like Chan, not a husband like mine. I ponder my concerns for a minute, but then I dismiss it because she was clearly emotional when I arrived today, and maybe she didn’t want to make it seem like I don’t deserve Jakari but Qisha does.

                  Chan walks over and gives my mom a kiss on her cheek. I smile at their exchange. I walk back over to the table and sit down in the chair I was sitting in previously.

                  “You want to do lunch on Friday? I took the day off hoping we could hang out,” Chan says, turning to face me.

                 “Of course,” I exclaim. I can feel butterflies invading my stomach as I contemplate being alone with Chandler. I smile at him and when he smiles back, somehow, I feel like he feels the same way. I get up from the table before he can sit down and I go into the living room. I have to clear my head because I don’t know what is going on with me and Chandler, and I would love to say that I don’t like it but that would be an all-out lie.

                  I go into the living room and I see the coffee table littered with picture frames. I see pictures of my sisters and me, pictures of my mom when she was younger, a picture of Chandler and me when we graduated from Springfield Central High School. Wait! Did I really just remember what high school I graduated from? Oh my God! I turn around to call Chandler but he is already standing right behind me. I look up into his face and grab both of his hands. “We graduated from Springfield Central High School!”

                  “Damn, Qia, you remembered!” He hugs me and we laugh.

                  “I went to Central as well, Qia,” I hear Jakari say dryly from behind me. “What’s up Chandler?” he asks, adding sarcasm to his dryness.

                 “Hey J,” Chandler replies as we step back from each other. “What’s up, Qisha? Darrin.” Chandler says Darrin’s name like he wishes he could erase his ass off the face of the earth.

                  Darrin just nods his head like he doesn’t notice how annoyed Chan is with him being here.

                 “Hey Chandler. I didn’t know you were coming,” Qisha says smiling at him.

                 “Was you supposed to know this nigga every move?” Darrin asks while grilling Qisha.

                  “Darrin, please don’t start. I am just saying hi to my brother-in-law.”

                “Yo ass is being a hoe. I done told you about that shit. Knowing you, ya probably fucking both these niggas,” Darrin says while moving up to the edge of his seat.

                Jakari stands up. Chandler steps around me into the living room and stands next to his brother. “Yo, is there a problem?” Chandler asks.

                 “I’mma need you to watch how you speaking to my family yo,” Jakari says in a manner that lets Darrin know he bout to have a problem.

                  Qisha gets up off the sofa and steps in front of Darrin, so that she is face to face with Jakari and Chandler. “It’s okay guys. He doesn’t mean it. Let’s just stay calm so that we don’t mess up Qia’s coming home dinner.”

                  Darrin takes his right arm and moves Qisha to the side. He looks up at Qisha and says, “You’re rude as hell, stepping in front of me, putting your big ass in my face.” He looks her up and down before turning to address Jakari and Chandler “Yo, how y’all gonna defend this hoe? You know a few weeks ago she came home all beat up from fucking with the next nigga? Wipe that foundation off, so they can see ya black eye trick. Y’all want to protect her from me though. Fuck dis. I’m ghost.”

                  Qisha’s eyes are big as hell, and her mouth is hanging open and her face is bright red. Jakari is looking at Qisha and Chandler is looking at Jakari. Everyone looks confused as hell. “Qisha, what is Darrin talking about?” I ask.